


Blood in the Water

by Mer_bear03



Category: CrankGameplays - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Angst, CrankGameplays - Freeform, Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mafia AU, Markiplier - Freeform, Minor Character Death, PTSD, Slight homophobia- only in like one chapter, Slow Burn, There’s death and gore so be warned, at some point, bodyguard!mark, boss!ethan, crankiplier - Freeform, ive never had to tag before wtf am I doing, not too much tho, slowish burn, they’re gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:47:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 42,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27278959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mer_bear03/pseuds/Mer_bear03
Summary: A knife.A flame.Hot metal searing his skin.The crunch of broken bones.After Mark accidentally sees something he shouldn’t, he is roped into joining the Italian Mafia.After his father dies, Ethan is forced to take his place earlier than he expected.They’re both in danger.
Relationships: Crankiplier, Mark Fischbach & Ethan Nestor, Mark Fischbach/Ethan Nestor
Comments: 72
Kudos: 241





	1. This is bad...

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fic on AO3 so I’m excited. I’ve always loved mafia au’s so I figured I’d make a crankiplier one.
> 
> -also a note from future me! Chapters will get better as I get into the story more, I swear lmao-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a prologue! I promise chapters will be longer after this

It was all blood red. The color was so bright it burned his eyes and elicited a laugh from the man across the room.  
"So? What do ya think?" The dark eyes, that had been surveying the scene, met the boys.  
"I-I don't want- want to do this." The words burned his throat as they left his mouth. The boys hands shook as he looked down at them. They were red too. His stomach rolled and he fought the urge to vomit.  
"Too late. Now you're in it for good," The mans voice was cold and he sauntered through the doorway, "let's go."  
"Yes, father." The boy stood and walked behind him, not daring to look at the bloodied heap they left in the room.

~~~~~~

"Mark!" A woman's voice echoed through the grey storage room.  
"Yes?" Mark huffed and put down the cardboard box he had been carrying. He recognized the voice as Ms. Ellis, his boss. She came running up to him, a panicked expression on her face. She was dressed in a similar gray work uniform, long cargo pants and a plain T-shirt. Her dark brown hair was pulled tightly into a ponytail.  
"Where did you get that box?" She asked sharply, picking it up herself and beginning to walk back in the direction Mark had come from. Mark raised an eyebrow in confusion and brushed the black hair that had fallen in front of his eyes back.  
"It was on the back shelf, 3rd row," he replied, following at her heels, "why? I thought you wanted it loaded in the truck for delivery today?"  
"No," she retorted, "I told you multiple times we needed the boxes on the 5th shelf on that truck. I also remember telling you to never touch any of the boxes on the back shelf."  
The boy rolled his eyes, becoming slightly irritated at her scolding.  
"Ok ok, I'll be more careful next time. What's so important about those boxes anyway?"  
"It's none of your business, stick to what I tell you to do." Ms. Ellis shortly replied, continuing to walk at a brisk pace.  
"Fine. At least let me help you put it back though." Mark reached out, wanting to be helpful. Little did he know that was probably the worst thing he could've done. In his haste, he knocked the box out of Ms. Ellis' grip. The box crashed to the ground, its contents spilling out. They both froze, Ms. Ellis looking at Mark and Mark looking at what was in the box.  
There were multiple bags of white powder, what Mark assumed was cocaine, but a card caught his eye. It was blue, the size of a playing card and had a gear on it. He instantly recognized the card as something his dad described. His dad was part of the police force and he had been going on and on about the card one night at dinner. It was a calling card for the Italian mafia. 

"Ms. E-" The words died in his mouth at the sound of a gun click at the side of his head.  
"You run, you die, do you understand? Yes or no?" Ms. Ellis demanded coldly.  
"Yes." Mark whispered out, his voice violently shaking just with that one word.  
_What the fuck is happening?_ "Move." She ordered, pressing the gun against his head.  
Mark's mind was racing.  
_How do I get out of this? Can I even get out of this?_ She had a gun and Mark knew the second he made a wrong move a bullet would be in his brain.  
They walked out the back entrance, Mark not daring to say a word the whole time.  
The crisp air outside made him shiver as he was shoved against the brick wall.  
"Don't move." Was the next command and she pulled a cell phone out of her pocket, quickly dialing and bringing it up to her ear.  
"Blade? It's me, Visage. The kid knows." Mark held his breath to try and hear the reply, but he was unsuccessful.  
"Got it." The phone dropped from her hand and crushed under her foot.  
"You're in some deep shit now, kid." She shook her head before bashing the end of the gun against his skull. Darkness consumed his vision.  
_Fuck_


	2. An Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another chapter! Updates might be a little slow after this point because I want to make the chapters longer. Also I’m doing more world building than I’m used to and I’m trying not to leave plot holes. Later chapters will probably get better as I get into it, beginning chapters for me are always awkward.

—— 10 years later ——

If Mark could go back to tell his younger self anything, it would've been to have never taken that stupid delivery job.  
Now, here he was with yet another gun to his head.  
"Can you please just put it down." He grumbled, he couldn't keep track of how many times this had happened to him in the past couple years. The flashing red, blue, and white police car lights were starting to hurt his eyes. "On your knees and hands in the air!" The man dressed in the blue uniform yelled at him instead, keeping the gun aimed at him.  
"Fine." Mark rolled his eyes, dropping to his knees, thinking for a moment about making a joke about it. He quickly decided against it when he watched the officer crumple to the ground, a hole in the side of his head that wasn't there before.  
"Bear, we've gotta be more careful." He heard and Mark groaned at the code name. Someone called him papa bear as a joke one time and he was stuck with it forever.  
"Yeah yeah I know, let's just go Jack."  
"Seriously dude, Blue Eagle won't be happy if we keep alerting the cops like that." Sean (or "Jack") retorted, slipping the gun into his back pocket before jogging up to Mark.  
"Yeah, as if they tell Blue Eagle about anything we do," Mark huffed, "the boss is too busy dealing with more important shit."  
"Seriously, one more fuck up and you know what happens."  
Mark winced, his hand involuntary rubbing his shoulder, he could feel the scarring even through the shirt.  
"Yeah... I do. I promise we'll double check locations next time." Mark gave Sean a pat on the back, trying to ease some of his friends worry.  
Sean was the only friend Mark had made since his life went to shit. When he was 16 he accidentally found cocaine that the mafia had been transporting. He was given two options: join the mafia, or die.  
Being a kid, he had still been scared of death so he chose to join.  
Now, walking the backstreets of New York trying to avoid people who would be able to see the bloodstains on his shirt, he almost wished he chose the latter. 

He and Sean were hitmen. After joining, Mark quickly realized he had to rank up in order to survive, being at the bottom of the hierarchy as a soldier was dangerous. Sean had joined only a little while before Mark, at 15 years old. Mark was never sure why or how he joined since Sean always dodged the question. The most he had gotten was something about "family". 

The night hadn't been a total bust, even though there was an alarm system they hadn't accounted for, alerting a nearby cop. Their task had been fairly simple. Locate Sam Reed, and take him out. Apparently he hadn't paid his dues and his time was up. It would've normally been a job for the soldiers, but he had been successful in evading them. 

While they were walking in silence, Mark allowed himself a deep breath. The tension in his shoulders never seemed to ease, but at times like these it lessened. It was dark and they were in back alleys, there was little chance of anyone seeing them.  
Mark glanced up at the pitch black sky. He did it every night, his heart uselessly hoping that he would see stars.  
_Stupid light pollution._  
He missed the stars back home.

He looked over at Sean who was fixing his hair, pulling it out of the little bun it was normally in, adjusting a few flyaways before putting it back up. They both startled a little when Sean's phone gave a ding. He hastily pulled it out of his pocket and read something off of it.  
"We gotta hurry back, they want you for something important." Sean started jogging and Mark quickly followed after him.  
_This can't be good._

~~~~

Arriving back to base was nerve wracking, especially since as soon as he and Sean drove up there were two men dressed in all black suits who immediately escorted Mark away. They wore big dark sunglasses and Mark would've laughed at the cliche if he wasn't so terrified.  
Mark gave one final look back to Sean, whose face was schooled into an uncaring expression. His eyes, however, showed he was just as frightened as Mark was.

Mark walked with one of the men in front and one of them behind him, as if he was going to try and run. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't thought about it. Their leather dress shoes made an unsettling click against the concrete and Mark wondered if he should've said goodbye to Sean before being dragged away.  
The man in front led them through a door Mark had never been through, mainly because it was always locked and guarded by another man dressed all in black. An elevator took them up, the rumbling of the gears doing little to disrupt the tense silence.  
Mark tried to keep track of where they were going, but it was nearly impossible with all the turns they took. He took a deep breath as they approached a much larger door and managed his expression into a more nonchalant one.  
If they were going to kill him he didn't want to give them the satisfaction of seeing his fear.

His nerves were on fire was the door was opened and the two men stepped to the side, obviously wanting him to go in first. As soon as he did, the door shut and locked behind him, almost hitting his back. They hadn't followed him inside, but he wasn't alone.  
There was a man sitting at a desk in front of him. He looked younger than Mark with brown hair that was shorter on the sides than the top. He also wore an all black suit, but it was obviously much more expensive than the others he had seen. At closer inspection it had fine details in an almost silvery-black color.  
"Welcome," He said, tone not giving anything about the man away, "sit."  
The man gestured to the chair across from him, in front of Mark. He carefully sat down, his eyes quickly scanning the room. It wasn't large, but it definitely wasn't small. There was a window behind the man, overlooking New York and the walls were lined with maps of different cities around the world.  
Mark waited for the man to say more, but he didn't. He simply narrowed his eyes and looked Mark up and down. The black haired man tried not to squirm under his critical gaze. He felt himself being picked apart and analyzed; he hated it.  
"Ive been told you're one of the best hitmen here," The man finally spoke, then added with a smirk, "I honestly don't see it though."  
Mark practically bristled, who did this guy think he was? Having him dragged from his car, brought down some creepy ass hall, and into a strange room just to be insulted? The anger began to boil in his stomach. Forget manners, if he's going to die why should he be polite to a stranger?  
"Oh fuck off. You look like a kid who's been handed everything with a silver spoon. I've worked hard for everything I have." Mark snapped.  
"Oh, so he does anger issues. Great." The man raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. Mark quickly regretted his outburst, realizing it had been a test of his temper.  
"Listen, you're not here to die so you should lose the attitude before I actually have you killed."  
God, now Mark was really confused. His mind raced as he tried to piece things together. The guy obviously had some sort of power since he said he could have Mark killed. Also the fancy suit and the weird private meeting. At the same time though, he looked way to young to hold any position of power.  
"Don’t worry too much about who I am yet. The man chuckled and Mark couldn't hide his surprised expression.  
"I'm very good at reading people." The younger man waved his hand flippantly in the air, "I'm here to offer you something. It seems as though Blue Eagle needs another personal body guard to accompany him. The last one met an unfortunate end after trying to leave."  
Mark's head started spinning from the unanswered questions and the change of events.  
_He wants me as a personal body guard? Am I even qualified for that?_  
Sure he knew how to take people out, but he only really had to look out for himself. If push came to shove he would have to go against his survival instincts and protect the boss, someone he didn't even know. Hell, he didn’t even know the guy’s name. Only his closest advisors did. He wasn't sure if he could do that.  
"Why me?" Was the question that came out of his mouth.  
"You're quick on your feet and have a level head on your shoulders. I've heard that you make good decisions under lots of stress and that's what the boss needs. He doesn't like staying cooped up and in past times he's gone out, the guards are too obvious and have almost gotten him killed. No offense, but you look normal. I mean sure, you're well built, but you don't look like those knuckle heads in uniforms out there." The man replied, gesturing to the doors where the two guards, who had escorted him, were probably standing outside, "if you accept this position you cannot ask to be demoted. Personal guards know too much to be left to their own devices and I’m sure you know what happens if you try and leave.”  
Mark opened and closed his mouth a few times, trying to quickly weigh his options.  
"Do I have to decide now?" He questioned making the man smirk again.  
"I'd rather have a quick response, the boss doesn't like waiting."  
Mark tore his gaze away from him. Ranking up was always a good thing, but he wasn't sure this time. What if it proved to be too much? He wasn't allowed to be demoted and he sure as hell didn't want to be tortured and killed just to get out of it. Then again, Mark loved a challenge.  
"Ok," he found himself saying, surprising himself, "I'll do it."  
The brunette stood up from his chair, a smile on his face that didn't quite reach his eyes.  
"Great. You start tomorrow. I'll have someone come get you in the morning. See you later, Fischbach."  
With that, the man left the room, leaving Mark to slowly trail behind him. The guards quickly assumed the same walking position as last time. Mark found himself oddly thankful that they didn't leave him, otherwise he thought he would've gotten lost on his way back.  
One question still tugged at his mind though.  
"Who was that?" He asked, not really expecting a response, but letting himself try anyway.  
To his surprise, the man in front of him glanced over his shoulder.  
"That was Blue Eagle." He grumbled before returning his gaze froward.  
Blue Eagle.  
He had cursed out the boss  
And called him a kid.

_Fuck._


	3. Bait

Mark found himself on the top floor of a very expensive apartment building in front of one of the apartment doors.  
The man who had been leading him around yesterday had woken him up and took him there.  
Mark startled when a key was shoved into his hands.  
"It's for the door," he explained, "I'm not allowed inside. No one is except you and the boss. He is very paranoid about who he lets in his home."  
Mark hesitantly unlocked the door before shutting and locking it behind him.  
"Hello?" He called out, his voice echoing, "it's Mark."  
He slowly inched his way into the huge apartment. It was open concept with neutral colors like white, grey, and beige and huge windows overlooking the city.  
"Take off your shoes before wandering around!" He heard a voice, obviously directed at him.  
It was a weirdly normal request, though Mark wasn’t really sure why he payed attention to that. He shook his head and kicked his shoes off, he supposed he was just on edge. He still wasn’t sure what the job completely entailed and he had just walked into the boss’ house.

He ended up not wandering around, too uncomfortable to do anything but stand awkwardly by the door. He perked up a little when he heard footsteps coming around a corner.  
The boss came walking around the corner and his eyebrows raised in amusement.  
“Jeez loosen up a little, you look like someone shoved a cactus up your ass.”  
Well that wasn’t what Mark was expecting. He held back a scowl, but did try to relax a little as the boss walked a little closer. He was dressed down compared to the day before, with a dark maroon button down tucked into black dress pants.  
“Alright, lets go.” He walked past Mark and out the door, making the raven-haired man hurry to catch up. 

It was a strangely normal day. Mark found himself thinking as they went into store after store. The boss seemed to be in no rush to be anywhere, in fact, he was acting weirdly calm and confident, strolling around New York City like there wasn’t a million dollar reward on his head. They didn’t really say much to each other except when the boss asked for his opinion on which chair he should get for his apartment.  
It was totally and completely normal.  
Until a gunshot went off while they were walking down the sidewalk.  
Mark’s instincts surprised him as he immediately stepped in between the other man and where he heard the gunshot, holding his arm out to gently push him into a nearby store. They both ducked under the windowsil and against the wall. Only then did he hear the screams of the other people around him. He felt his arm being tugged and let the brunette lead them to the back, where there was an exit door to a back alleyway.

There were two men with guns waiting for them.  
“Fuck.” He heard the boss curse under his breath.  
“On your knees, both of you.” The first one spoke. He was wearing all black, but there was a green piece of cloth tied around his ankle.  
Mark went first, wincing when broken glass dug into his knee. He glanced up at the boss who glared before lowering himself down as well.  
“Wow, that was too easy.” One of them mocked, while the other grabbed the guns from them, “I thought you were supposed to be one of the best? And you’re on your knees too.”  
“I bet he’s used to that.” The other one interjected, a smug look on his face.  
“Oh yes, I remember hearing some rumors! How’d your father feel about having a gay son?” The one with the green cloth sneered making the other laugh. Mark couldn’t help but risk a sideways glance. The young man’s eyes were hardened, his jaw clenched.  
He looked ready to jump them himself.  
Mark began to think quickly. There had to be a way out, it was two versus two. Unfortunately he didn’t have his gun anymore so he’d have to rely on his hand to hand combat and hope he didn’t get shot in the process.  
“I say we kill this one now, he’s not going to get us much money.” The end of a gun was pressed to the center of Mark’s head. The chill of the metal seemed to kickstart his survival instincts. His hand came up, grabbing the gun and pointing it up as the shot was fired. He quickly twisted his hand and aimed at the other man, quickly firing a shot in between his eyes. He sharply slammed his elbow into the other guy’s head and jumped up, shooting him as well. Mark grabbed the boss’ arm and hauled him to his feet, dragging him along as he ran.  
They got back to the car and immediately drove away. There was a moment of silence with just the car engine and heavily breathing filling the air.

“Well that didn’t go as planned.” He grumbled from the seat next to Mark, pulling out his phone and frantically typing.  
“Wha- what plan?” Mark furrowed his eyebrows, glancing over from the road quickly. There was a plan?  
“The Irish Mafia have been trying to take me out as soon as I became the boss,” he shook his head, “they never tried to go after my father so the plan was to use myself as bait to get them to come after me. My men were supposed to be there when they found us, so we could hold them for questioning. I need to know why they’re after me, but something fucked up somewhere.” He grumbled the last bit, obviously irritated.  
“Plan? Why the fuck was I not told there was a plan? My job is to protect you, but you never told me you were using yourself as bait?” His grip on the steering wheel tightened.  
“You would’ve been on edge and they would’ve noticed that. It would’ve scared them off.” The other man brushed it off.  
“I- I can’t keep you safe if you don’t tell me what’s going on.” Mark was frustrated. God, he had so many questions and everything was so confusing that he suddenly found himself pissed off.  
“That’s the whole reason I’m here. I can’t do my job if you don’t help me out a little.” He desperately tried to tone down the anger in his voice, but it hadn’t worked as well as he’d hoped. He saw the brunette turn his head to look at him in his peripherals. Mark suddenly remembered that the other man could kill him with the snap of his fingers and he winced at his mistake.  
“You’re right.”  
The two words had Mark do a double take and his anger fizzled out as quickly as it had come.  
“I’ll tell you next time. You’re doing a good job so far though, even though I haven’t been much help.”  
Mark felt a weird sense of pride.  
“Thanks boss.” He responded, unsure of what to say. He watched him awkwardly shift in his seat from the corner of his eye for a second before speaking again.  
“My name’s Ethan by the way.” he said quietly, “just so you know.”  
“Nice to meet you, Ethan.” Mark replied, seeing Ethan smile a little at the response. It was a real smile this time. Not a smirk, or a fake one. It was a smile that made the corners of his eyes crinkle. It didn’t last long though and he looked out the window.  
“Sorry about a minute ago. And, uh, yesterday.” Mark scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, earning a snort from the other man.  
“You mean you raising your voice at me? Or do you mean when you called me a kid. Oh! I know, how about when you told me to fuck off?” There was no irritation behind the question, his tone was light-hearted, “it’s fine, but I do have to ask. Are you apologizing because you know what position of power I hold, or is it because you actually feel bad?”  
“I suppose both,” Mark answered truthfully, “I mean, you are a very dangerous person, so I’d like to try not to piss you off too much.” That earned an amused chuckle, “but, I also do feel bad, I always do after I snap at people. You were right about me having a short temper.”  
“I’m right about a lot of things.” The smirk was back and Mark could help but give a half smile with a roll of his eyes.  
_Maybe this job won’t be so terrible after all._

~~~~~

Mark went into the bathroom as soon as they get back to Ethan’s apartment, cleaning out the cut he had gotten after kneeling on broken glass. Luckily it wasn’t too deep, but it sure as hell did sting when he poured the hydrogen peroxide on it.  
“You hungry?” Ethan asked as soon as he emerged. Mark glanced around the kitchen. There was a nice wooden dining table off to the side. Mark couldn’t help but wonder if that table was ever used. He couldn’t really imagine Ethan sitting down at a table just to eat alone. God, it must be lonely.  
His own thought process surprised him a little. He had never really imagined what it would be like to be a mafioso, but he never thought the word “lonely” would be used to describe it.  
He was jolted out of his thoughts by Ethan looking expectantly at him. He had forgotten to answer the question.  
“Oh, uh, no... I’m not really hungry.” He sheepishly answered, a complete lie since he hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast and it was almost dinner now. The brunette rolled his eyes, obviously not believing him for a second.  
“I’m making subs and you’re having one.” He stated, no room for argument, before turning and gathering ingredients from around the kitchen.  
“Do you want help?” Mark asked awkwardly, not sure what he was supposed to be doing. He had always been an introvert, so being around people he didn’t know was always a little weird for him. He could easily take someone out, but put him in a social setting and he’s immediately out of his comfort zone.  
“Nope, you’ve saved my life today, so I’m saving yours… from hunger.” Ethan waved his hand over to the counter, where there were bar stools on the other side, “go sit.”  
Mark shuffled over to the chairs and sat down, lazily watching the other man put together the sandwiches. He found himself finally getting a good look at him. This hair was a little messier today than yesterday and Mark noticed he had hazel eyes. He was fit, not bulky like Mark, but definitely in shape.  
_He’s actually…kind of cute._  
He startled a little at his own thoughts and rubbed his eyes.  
_What the hell is wrong with you Mark?_ He scolded himself, _that’s your boss and a mafioso._  
He sighed and chalked up his odd thoughts to just being tired. He hadn’t slept much the night before, worried about what the day had in store and he was coming down from the adrenaline high after being held at gunpoint.  
A plate being placed in front of him brought him back to the present.  
“Bon appétit.” Ethan smiled before starting to eat his own sandwich. They are in silence for a moment before Mark broke it.  
“So,” he started, “any life threatening plans for tomorrow?”  
It was a half joke, since he knew there was actually a possibility his life could be in danger.  
“Nope, nothing life threatening. Well, nothing planned at least.” His eyebrows furrowed, “we are going to Italy so the plane could crash, which would be an unplanned life threatening senario.”  
“Italy?” Mark wasn’t so tired anymore.  
“Yeah, I have some business I gotta deal with over there that can’t be done over the phone.” He suddenly perked up a bit, “plus my dog is over there and I really want to see him.”  
“You have a dog?” Mark found himself peeking up as well. He had always wanted a dog, specifically a golden retriever.  
“Yeah, his name is Spencer.” Ethan practically beamed as he started talking about his dog. Rambling a little about what Spencer’s favorite toys were and how he liked walks.  
In the middle of his sentence, however, he snapped his mouth shut and rubbed the back of his shoulder.  
“I’m rambling.” He stated while frowning, “I need to stop doing that.”  
Mark barely caught the last part, not even sure if he was supposed to hear it.  
“You can head back home now and pack some things for Italy. Pretty much everything will be provided for you, but if you wanted to bring some personal things you can.” He hopped down from the chair and started walking away, his expression neutral, much like yesterday, “I’ll see you tomorrow. You can get here at 7am.”  
With that Ethan disappeared around a corner.  
Mark was left sitting there, getting whiplash from the sudden mood swing. One second he was all smiled, talking about his dog and the next he was acting like a robot and practically kicking Mark out. Mark wondered if he had done something wrong, but his brain was foggy from exhaustion.  
He walked out of the apartment, locking it behind him, still confused.  
_He had said something about how he needed to stop rambling._  
He shook his head. That didn’t explain why he seemed upset all of a sudden.  
Mark decided he didn’t have the brain power to think about it and caught a taxi.  
When he got back home to his little apartment he immediately fell onto his bed, deciding to pack his things in the morning.


	4. Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oop... Mark is in denial already

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so glad everyone is enjoying the story so far! Seriously all the comments I’ve gotten are so positive so thank you <3

Ethan’s attitude hadn’t changed from last night when Mark picked him up at his apartment to go to the airport. He was distant and had put on the persona he had while meeting Mark for the first time. Mark shrugged it off, knowing his job was to protect, not to make friends. Though he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of dejection, still unsure if he had done something wrong.  
He was unsurprised when he saw that Ethan had a private jet, painted with a stripe the same color blue as their calling card. Mark hauled his bag onto his back and took Ethan’s bag from him, earning him a raised eyebrow. He looked genuinely surprised.  
“I’m just trying to be nice.” Mark muttered, wondering if he overstepped somehow.  
“Thank you.” Ethan said genuinely, easing the other man’s anxieties and dropping his unreadable expression for a moment. Mark followed him onto the jet, surprised when he saw a woman with dark brown hair seated in the plane.  
“Ah! Mark, this is Amy, my consigliere. Amy, this is Mark.” She stood and shook his hand. He could tell by her straightened posture and hardened expression that she was here for strictly business.  
“Nice to meet you Mark,” she greeted before turning to the other brunette, “Ethan, we have some matters to discuss before arriving in Italy.”  
She shot him a pointed look and glanced at Mark.  
“Just so you know, I do trust him.” Ethan replied coolly, “but if you insist. Mark do you mind sitting over there for a moment while we talk.”  
“Nope, not at all.” Mark was honestly glad he was being spared the details of what was going on. He knew that by listening in, he would just gain more questions. He sat at the opposite end of the jet and they were soon in the air. He couldn’t hear the other two talking over the sound of the engine, so he allowed himself to get lost in thought.  
He found himself thinking about his childhood and how much had changed since then. He really missed his mom. He missed it when she would hold him and sing him to sleep. He wished he had let her do that for longer. As he had aged, he started complaining when she tried to hold him. He sighed, realizing he had taken it for granted. In fact, he had taken a lot for granted. Home cooked meals and movie nights. Playing in the yard with his brother and feeling safe. He missed those feelings. The feelings of warmth and comfort. He was always on edge now, ready for who would try and kill him next. It was no way to live, and he knew that. There wasn’t anything he could do about it now though. After Ms. Ellis, whose name he found out was actually Kira Goodman, had him join, he probably could’ve tried to escape. They had made him kill someone, just in case he did try to snitch, but he still could’ve gone to the cops. They would’ve had mercy on him then, he was just a kid. Now, however, he was 26 and had killed more people than he could count. God, what would his family think of him now?  
He looked across the jet, just barely able to see Ethan. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked unsettled. Mark wondered what his family was like. When Mark thought of his own family, it brought him comfort, he wasn’t sure Ethan’s family was like that. He winced, remembering the stories of what type of boss his father, William, was. He heard he was one of the cruelest. He had killed his own wife, Ethan’s mother, when he had heard a rumor she was going to try and get out. William wanted power more than anything, and made sure no one stood in the way of it.  
Suddenly, Ethan was sitting in front of him.  
“Hey, you good? He chuckled a little when Mark startled, “I saw you staring at me, I might have to start charging you.” He smirked, making Mark roll his eyes.  
“I was just lost in thought is all.” He replied.  
“Thinking about me?” Ethan continued the joke.  
“You wish.” Mark found himself playfully retorting, earning a laugh from the other man.  
“So, how was your chat with Amy?” He asked, regretting the question when Ethan’s face fell.  
“I never enjoy those little meetings,” he huffed, folding his arms on the table, “just a bunch of stuff I wish I didn’t have to worry about.”  
“I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be you.” Mark said genuinely, just now noticing how prominent the bags under Ethan’s eyes were.  
“Yeah well, I guess I'm used to it now,” he shrugged, “has fucked up my sleep schedule though. Sometimes it’s just because I have late meetings and sometimes it’s because I’m too anxious to-” he cut himself off and dropped his gaze from Mark. He could see Ethan retreating back into his shell. It suddenly clicked with Mark. He was afraid to share personal information. Last night, he had been rambling and he must’ve thought it showed too much of himself. Just now he admitted to being anxious. Mark didn’t want him to go all distant again so he quickly began speaking.  
“Sometimes when I get anxious I think about space.” This caught Ethan’s attention.  
“Space?” He questioned.  
“Yeah, I think about the billions of stars out there and how big other planets are. There’s like 100 billion galaxies and we haven’t even completely explored the one we’re living in. It kind of puts things into perspective for me. It makes me feel like I’m super tiny, which automatically makes my problems seem small too.” He confessed, hoping it would help Ethan ignore him accidentally sharing more than he had wanted. It seemed to have worked because his eyes were shimmering with awe.  
“That’s a lot of galaxies.” He said, a smile creeping onto his face, making Mark smile too.  
“Yeah, and that’s just a guess. When our telescope technology improves, they’re thinking we’re going to be able to see like 200 billion. That’s only for the galaxies we can see though.”  
“You mean there could be more?” Ethan was resting his chin on his arms, looking happier than he did earlier.  
“Yep. And if you think that’s a lot. There are about 400 billion stars in just the Milkyway. I think it’s really cool that-”  
And Mark continued to talk about space. He tried not to think about how much he liked it when Ethan smiled, or laughed at some dumb space joke he made, or how pretty he looked when the light from the window reflected in in his eyes, making them sparkle. Instead, he forced himself to think about space.  
He was definitely not thinking about Ethan.


	5. Italy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m updating a lot more frequently than I thought I’d be so far- oop

Ethan’s house in Italy was, unsurprisingly, huge. It had its own little courtyard with a loggia at one end, leading into the house. It was Tuscan architecture; the exterior walls were made of sandstone and limestone, and the roof tiles were terracotta. The earthly colors made it feel homey. A little black, grey, brown, and white dog came running up to greet them as soon as they stepped inside.  
“Spencer!” Ethan cooed at the little dog, petting him. “Oh, I missed you bub.”  
Mark gave a soft smile watching the two reunite, and shifted the bag on his shoulders. That seemed to catch Ethan's attention.  
“Thanks for carrying that.” He grinned, taking it from off Mark’s back. “There's a guest house on the other side of the courtyard if you want to put your stuff there. You can stay there while we’re here. You have about 30 minutes to get settled before we have to go since I gotta head out to meet someone.”  
Mark nodded and headed to the guest house, putting his bag down in the bedroom. He sighed, tired from the plane trip, and laid down on the bed. He debated whether he could take a nap but decided against it. Naps always seemed to make him more tired. He looked out the window to see Ethan waving at an old woman who was leaving. She must've been taking care of Spencer while he had been in New York.  
Speaking of the devil, he heard the scratching of nails coming up the stairs. He must've forgotten to close the door all the way.  
“Hey, Spence.” Mark slid off the bed and sat cross-legged on the floor, petting the little dog. He wagged his tail and crawled happily into Mark's lap, making Mark smile.  
“Well, well, well.” Mark’s head snapped up to see Ethan leaning in the doorway, a half-smile on his face. “I see you’ve already stolen my dog.”  
“Hey, he willingly came in here and sat in my lap. If anything, he’s taken me prisoner because there’s no way I'm getting up until he gets off my lap,” Mark glanced down at Spencer who had fallen asleep. “I can’t just wake him up.”  
Ethan slid down until he was sitting as well, leaning his back against the wall.  
“Just wait until your legs start to go numb.”  
“I’ll choose numb legs over waking up a dog any day.” Mark retorted, making Ethan hum in amusement.  
“I’ll give it a couple more minutes until you're begging for him to get up, trust me. It’s happened to me too many times.”  
They sat in comfortable silence for a minute, before a question popped into Mark’s mind.  
“Uh, this might be a little random, but… how old are you anyway?” He asked.  
“I was wondering when you were going to ask that. It usually doesn’t take people this long.” Ethan chuckled a little, “I’m 23.”  
Mark hummed, acknowledging that he had heard the brunette before Ethan checked his watch.  
“Alright, I gotta get ready. You have to tell me when you cave and finally make Spencer get off you though.”  
“Maybe I will, maybe I won’t.” Mark shrugged.  
“You better.” Ethan glared playfully before getting up and leaving.

~~~~

Mark stood outside a door that was part of a long cold hallway. Etham was currently talking to someone inside and, once again, they hadn’t trusted Mark despite Ethan’s insistence that they could. The sound of footsteps put Mark on edge and he kept his gaze fixed on the corner that they would be coming around. He relaxed slightly when he saw it was Amy, but he wasn’t sure why she was there, keeping him tense.  
“They kicked you out?” She questioned, an eyebrow raising.  
“Don’t act too surprised, you practically did the same thing.” He replied.  
“Touche.” She stopped in front of Mark, leaning against the opposite wall. “Something came up and I have to talk to Ethan as soon as he’s done.” Amy explained before Mark could ask. He simply hummed and turned his gaze away. The silence was uncomfortable, at least for him. Amy seemed too busy to notice, typing things on her phone and writing things down on a little notepad. After about 15 minutes, she paused for a moment before glancing at Mark.  
“I heard Ethan laughing on the jet here.” She commented, making Mark tilt his head questioningly. “I haven’t heard him laugh before.”  
Mark squinted. She’d never heard him laugh? Sure he seemed pretty closed off at times, but it had been pretty easy for Mark to crack a joke with him.  
“Well, all you two talk about is business, so I don’t really think there’d be much to laugh about.” He concluded, shrugging.  
“No one else has either.” She replied, “Not since his mother died at least. He seemed happier on the plane.”  
Mark wasn’t sure what to say, so he simply nodded. Was it weird that they were getting along so well? Maybe he should tone down the friendliness a bit. After all, he was simply there to protect him, not to be a friend.  
The door to his left creaked open before he could mull it over thoroughly.  
“Oh, hello, Amy.” Ethan greeted, glancing between her and Mark, “what’s going on?”  
“Something came up with the-” She stopped when another man came out through the door.  
“Oh please, don’t mind me.” He smirked and Mark recognized his accent as Swedish. He had blonde hair and blue eyes. He was dressed as nicely as Ethan was.  
“Fuck off Felix.” Ethan swatted at his arm, “you already know too much about my business.”  
“Good thing I’m on your side then, right?” Felix, apparently, replied easily. “Anyway, it was nice seeing you.”  
He walked off down the hallway, leaving the three of them to talk.  
“It’s the shipment to Berlin. Half of it was destroyed or stolen.” Amy continued and Ethan tensed up.  
“Do we know who did it? Or how they knew where it was?” His tone was cold.  
“There was a four-leaf clover found at the scene. We’re investigating now to see how they found out.” Mark remembered that the four-leaf clover was the Irish Mafia’s calling card.  
“Have Evan track them down. They can’t get away with this, otherwise they’re going to think they can walk all over me.” He practically hissed.  
“On it.” She dialed a number on her phone, putting it up to her ear and walking away.  
“Fuck.” Ethan sighed, his posture slumping.  
“Let’s get you home, yeah?” Mark suggested, concerned with how tired he looked. Ethan simply nodded and Mark started leading the way. He tensed up when Ethan suddenly leaned on him, gently holding onto his arm.  
“Sorry, I’m just really fucking tired. Jet lag is kicking my ass.” Ethan said quickly, beginning to pull away.  
“Oh, no it’s okay. I don’t mind.” Mark assured him, although he wasn’t sure why. He had never really been a touchy person, but he found that he didn’t mind Ethan hanging onto him.  
“You sure?” The brunette questioned and Mark glanced down at him with a little smile.  
“Yeah, don’t worry about it. My job is to protect you, which also means I gotta make sure you don’t hurt yourself in case you pass out from exhaustion.”  
Ethan let out a huff of laughter, leaning against him a little more.  
“I won’t pass out. I might trip over my own to feet onto my ass though.”  
Now it was Mark’s turn to laugh.  
“Alright, let’s hurry up then.”

When they got back to Ethan’s home, he walked into an office before sitting down at the desk.  
“You can take the rest of the day off, I don’t think I’ll have to go anywhere else today. I still have to figure out what I’m going to do about half of the missing shipment, which means lots of phone calls.” Ethan grumbled slightly, running his hands down his face.  
“You sure you don’t want to take a nap or something first?” Mark suggested, Ethan giving a half-hearted smile.  
“I wish, but I have to deal with this first before blood is shed over it.”  
“Well, let me know if you need anything, though I’m not sure how much help I’ll be.” Mark offered.  
Ethan nodded, already beginning to focus on a stack of papers on his desk.  
Mark walked back to the guest house and laid down on the bed again, this time allowing himself to close his eyes. He felt bad that Ethan was having to stay up while Mark got to rest. The other was obviously much more exhausted. Mark didn’t think about it too long, however, as his mind began to slow down as he drifted off to sleep.


	6. Sunsets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH 50+ KUDOS??  
> Thank you all so much for all the nice comments it really means a lot :)

A few days passed without much activity. Mark didn’t see much of Ethan during that time. Apparently, the situation with the Irish Mafia wasn’t getting any better, and Ethan was busy trying to figure out what to do. Occasionally, Mark saw him through a window, either talking on the phone, looking over papers, or discussing something with Amy. Mark was also introduced to Evan, the Capodecina, who he remembered Ethan mentioning the first day they had arrived in Italy.  
Mark currently found himself in the courtyard of Ethan’s house with Evan and another man standing with him.  
“Listen, I’m telling you that same car has driven past six times in the past 48 hours.” The man, who Mark now remembered was named Lucas, was telling them.  
“Are you sure it’s not just someone driving to and from work?” Evan inquired, “we don’t want to be irritating people that aren’t part of this.”  
“If they were driving to and from work they would’ve only passed by four times. Six is way too many for two days.” Lucas insisted and Mark nodded.  
“That does seem suspicious.” Mark agreed, but he was still hesitant, “I feel like we shouldn’t confront them now though, maybe just keep an eye on them? Plus if we do confront them, we have to make sure it isn’t near here. Alerting locals would get law enforcement involved and that would be bad for us all.”  
Mark was happy to see that Evan was nodding along with him. He had only met him a little while ago, but he already respected the other man. He seemed to be intelligent and good at his job, making Mark feel like he needed to step up. Mark was, after all, still new to his job.  
“Alright, Lucas. Keep watching for them today, and if they continue we’ll take action. Mark, can you make sure you stay outside of Ethan’s office today or at least stay near him. If something does happen I want you close to him.”  
They agreed to meet back up at the end of the day to reassess the situation before heading in their respective directions. Mark made his way through the large house and up to Ethan’s office door, which had remained closed most of the time. However, he found that he could hear Ethan talking to someone through the door. The black-haired man had never been one to eavesdrop, but there was so much going on that he didn’t understand, he couldn’t help it.  
“What do you mean?” Ethan sounded defensive and judging by the silence that followed, he was on the phone.  
“...No I’m not getting distracted.” He continued, footsteps indicating that he was now pacing.  
“You know this wasn’t my choice!” Mark almost startled at the louder tone.  
“I was born into this and now this is the life I'm stuck with. I never wanted this in the first place... What? No! This isn’t about him… No, he’s not. Why would you think that?.... Listen leave him out of this alright?”  
Mark forced himself away from the door, just far enough so he wouldn’t be able to eavesdrop anymore. Ethan didn’t want to be doing this? He seemed to be way too good at it to not want to. In fact, Ethan was the only mafioso that was completely anonymous to the police. All the others had at least one picture on record, but Ethan was practically a ghost. The only reason they knew he existed is because someone leaked that William had died, allowing them to assume that someone had to take his place as the boss. Also, Mark wondered, who was the ‘he’ that Ethan had referred to? The person on the other end of the phone seemed to think that they were a problem, but the other man had brushed it off. He sighed, dragging a hand down his face. He had eavesdropped to try and ease his confusion, but now he had even more questions. He realized then that listening to a one-sided conversation probably wasn’t the best way to try and get answers. Mark decided that he was just going to get more confused if he continued trying to work things out. There were too many small bits of information that didn’t connect yet, and he knew he’d drive himself crazy trying to find connections that didn’t exist. So, he stood outside the office door for the next couple of hours like he was supposed to, his shoulders tense and his feet beginning to ache with each passing hour. At one point, Ethan had stepped out of the office and silently made his way down the hall, probably going to the bathroom. He hadn’t said anything to Mark, simply giving him a nod of his head, acknowledging his presence. Mark had only seen him for a split second, but he was definitely in rough shape. The bags under his eyes were even more prominent than usual, and his shoulders were slouched. His eyes looked dull, and it looked like he had continuously been running his hands through his hair because it was all ruffled up.  
At around five pm, Mark, Evan, and Lucas met back up as they had planned.  
“They drove by 4 different times.” Lucas immediately declared, “and on the third time there was another person in the passenger seat with a gun. They’ve got to be planning something.”  
“Yes, but who is this, and what are they planning?” Evan mused, hand scratching his chin.  
“Could be the Irish again.” Mark suggested, “They seem to have some weird vendetta against the boss. What better way to get to him than at his own house?”  
Evan hummed before letting out a sigh.  
“I say we set up a trap tomorrow. I’ve got a soldier, Junior, who looks pretty similar to Blue Eagle. Mark, you’ll drive with Junior about 30 minutes out into the countryside where locals won’t see you guys. I want you with them because it will convince them that Junior is the boss since they’ve seen you with him before. Lucas, I want you to round up extra soldiers and have them camp out where Mark is going to drive. If they take the bait and follow him, I want you guys to be there ready to surround them. I’ll get a more detailed location of where I want you, Mark, to go once I talk with Amy. Is that clear?”  
Mark nodded along with Lucas, his adrenaline already pumping due to his impending assignment. Evan dismissed them and Mark wandered back to the guest house, knowing that someone had taken his spot by the office door. He had left the door to the balcony open, and a warm breeze drew him out there. He sat down in one of the comfy cream-colored chairs, finally relaxing a little.  
The sun was beginning to set and he decided to allow himself the pleasure of watching it. It had been a while since he had been able to enjoy a sunset. Mark’s lips involuntarily quirked up into a sad smile. The last time had been with his mom and brother, Thomas. She had dragged them both outside one winter night and wrapped them in fuzzy blankets, saying something about how watching the sunset was good for the soul. Mark was glad that this time he wasn’t freezing his ass off in the frigid air.  
Footsteps behind him caused him to startle and he quickly snapped his head in that direction.  
“Woah, easy there. It’s just me.” Ethan said with an amused smile. Mark let out a little huff and returned his gaze to the sunset.  
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Ethan commented, quietly sitting down cross-legged in the chair next to Mark. “I never get tired of sunsets.”  
“I haven’t gotten to sit and enjoy one for a long time,” Mark replied with a watery smile.  
“Me neither, these past few days have been hell.”  
Mark couldn’t help but laugh.  
“Yeah, don’t worry I can tell. Looks like you’ve been swept up in a hurricane.” Mark pointedly looked at the brunette’s messy hair.  
“Hey! That’s rude!” Ethan retorted, trying to keep his smile from creeping onto his face. “I demand respect. I’m THE boss, in case you’ve forgotten.”  
“I’d give you respect if it looked like you deserved it.” Mark continued to joke, finally making Ethan laugh. He couldn’t help but notice how easy it was to get along with the other man. Mark had always been an introvert, not the type to get along with new people right off the bat. However, here he was joking around with someone he had only met a week ago. It normally took him a lot longer to warm up to people.  
“What’s on your mind?” Ethan asked, head slightly tilted and his elbows resting on his knees.  
“Eh, not much.” Mark lied. He figured it would be weird to say that he had been thinking about him. Wouldn’t it?  
“Oh come on, you’re bluffing. It’s definitely not nothing, you got a dumb smile on your face.” Mark scowled at the comment.  
“My smiles are not dumb, they’re very charming.” He retorted.  
“Mark,” Ethan practically whined, “tell me, please.”  
“You’re nosey aren’t you?”  
“Shut it and answer my question.” Ethan chuckled.  
“Ok, ok, fine.” Mark gave in, trying to figure out how to put his thoughts into words without sounding creepy.  
“I was just thinking that it’s odd how easy it is to get along with you.” Ethan raised his eyebrows, a small smile forming on his face, “I’m not really a social person, but talking with you isn’t complicated like it normally is with other people.” Mark shrugged, trying to downplay his words. Ethan didn’t say anything for a moment, his gaze leaving Mark’s and focusing on the barely visible sun instead. Mark fidgeted and looked away, worried he had said too much.  
“Thank you,” Ethan finally broke the silence, “that was nice of you. If it makes you feel better, I feel the same.”  
Mark looked back at Ethan, his anxiety slowly fading.  
“I’m a social person, but that doesn’t mean I get along with everyone. Most of the time I feel like I have to hide part of who I am so that people will respect me. Especially with my position. If I don’t act perfectly all the time, people will start to question my authority.” He quietly admitted, still not looking at Mark.  
“Has it always been like that?” The older man questioned.  
“What do you mean?” Ethan questioned, finally looking at him.  
“Have you always had to monitor how you act around people? Did you ever get to have any fun as a kid?”  
“When I was young, I had as close to a normal childhood as I could get. Once I turned twelve though, things changed.” His expression hardened and Mark watched as he started to close off again. He had seen it happen before, where his shoulders tended and his jaw set. And fuck, Mark didn’t want that to happen again. In a move that was unlike Mark, he moved his hand over and rested it on Ethan’s shoulder. Ethan startled at the contact for a moment before hesitantly relaxing.  
“It’s alright though, I guess,” Ethan said, voice slightly strained. “This is what I was born to do. It was the only reason I was born. To carry on my dad’s legacy.” There was malice in his tone and he looked down at his hands, falling silent.  
“Well, what did you want to do? I know growing up you had to have had a dream job. What was it?” Mark asked softly.  
“I wanted to be a DP.” He smiled sadly, “I loved everything to do with cameras and lighting. I still do.”  
Ethan leaned back into the chair, and Mark’s hand fell from his shoulder. They both looked back at the sky. The sun had completely set and the stars had begun to come out. Ethan suddenly giggled.  
“God, this is so fucking cheesy. Talking about feelings and shit while watching a sunset.”  
Mark grinned and shook his head.  
“Hey, that's what I’m good at. Making every moment sappy for no reason.”  
Ethan rolled his eyes and Mark once again found himself looking for a little too long. The cold white light from the moon and stars made his features accentuated.  
_Fuck he’s pretty._  
Mark couldn’t stop the thought from entering his brain, and this time he didn’t resist it as much. Ethan looked right back at him and smiled. Mark couldn’t help the flutter in his chest, making him feel bubbly and warm.  
Mark found himself not wanting to end the moment, and Ethan didn’t make a move to end it either. They simply sat, with an occasional comment, until their eyelids felt like led, slowly falling asleep under the stars.


	7. A Bad Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *TW (and slight spoiler?): fairly graphic description of torture*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s probably a ton of gramatical errors since I wrote this pretty quickly today. I’ll go over it tmrw and check for more errors. Hope you enjoy reading! :)

Mark hopped into the large black SUV, taking a deep breath as Junior sat down in the passenger seat. He hadn’t felt stressed until his hands gripped the key to start the car. Even when he had woken up that morning he felt calm. Maybe it was because when Mark had woken up, there was a blanket placed on top of him that hadn’t been there when he went to sleep. His brain had frozen when he realized it had probably been Ethan, seeing as though he wasn’t there anymore. That warm happy feeling had blocked out any fear relating to his mission up until now.  
“Ready?” Junior questioned, fixing a pair of sunglasses on his face.  
“As I’ll ever be.” Mark replied, starting the car. Mark found that Junior did look a little like Ethan, height, and body type wise. He had a different face though, which is why they decided big dark shades should be used.  
There was a person on the lookout, far down the road, who had just alerted them that the same car from the past few days was headed their way. Mark quickly pulled out of the driveway and onto the road, just as the car was coming up behind them.  
“Take a right up here,” Junior told him. It was a long deserted road. They planned to go on a different route than the car had been traveling the past few days, just to see if they were going to follow them. Sure enough, Mark saw the car turn so they were following them at a distance. He started to get a bad feeling in his gut. This seemed too easy for his liking. If this was the Irish mafia, he knew they wouldn’t be tailing them like this. If they didn’t want to be seen, they wouldn’t. They were doing this on purpose, but why?  
“I have a bad feeling about this.” Mark mumbled and Junior looked over at him.  
“I do too. This just doesn’t feel ri-” A crash erupted from Mark’s right side. The metal being crushed against metal made a horrible screeching noise and suddenly Mark couldn’t discern left from right or up from down. His head spun, making him want to vomit and he almost did, but the car abruptly stopped rolling. His vision was hazy and his ears were ringing.  
“Jun-Junior?” He tried calling out, but his voice was scratchy and it came out as more of a whisper. He didn’t get a response, making his anxiety spike even higher. He felt light-headed and he vaguely realized that the car was upside-down, making all the blood rush to his head. When he reached for the seat belt buckle, a shooting pain flared in his right shoulder, making him groan in pain. His left hand unclipped the seat belt and he slumped down to the bottom of the car.  
“Well, well, well! Would you look at who’s still alive?” A gruff voice startled him, and he tried looking at the person. He couldn’t make out any details about them, however, since his vision was still blurry. He could tell they were holding something though.  
_Is that a needle?_  
“That actually works out perfect for us, we wanted you for ourselves anyway.” The man crouched down next to him and stuck his arm through the broken window. Mark barely felt the needle go into his left arm.  
A dark chuckle was the last thing Mark heard.  
The world went dark. 

~~~~~

Waking up felt like hell. Everything hurt. He slowly opened his eyes, finding himself in a small dark room. He was sitting almost in the middle, in a chair that was bolted to the ground. In front of him was a small wooden chair, and to his right was a mirror.  
He was in an interrogation room.  
_Fuck._  
His head was no longer swimming so he could really feel his shoulder now. The pain was enough to bring tears to his eyes. His nose also felt broken, as well as his ankle. The rope that held his arms down on the armrests of the chair was so tight it made his hands tingle from blood loss. His gaze shot to the door as it creaked open.  
“Have a nice nap?” His gruff voice was familiar, and Mark assumed it was the same person at the crash. The man was tall, taller than Mark, and had silvery blonde hair. He had a long face, witch a sharp nose and cheekbones. Mark clenched his jaw and gave a cold stare.  
“Ah, so I’m getting the silent treatment now?” The other man smirked, “you might not want to do that. We have some questions and we have ways of getting the answers out of you if you continue to keep your mouth shut.” Mark felt himself begin to sweat and he knew his heart was beating at an unhealthy speed. He knew that the other man wanted him to be afraid though, so he kept his face neutral. Not wanting to give him the satisfaction of seeing his fear. The blonde-haired man glanced at the mirror and gave a nod. A second later, a woman with a metal cart came through the door. She wore a devilish smirk and another wave of fear washed over Mark.  
“It would’ve been smart of you to simply cooperate, but this means I get to use some of my new instruments.” The man pulled a large, sharp knife from the cart.  
“I’ve heard from some inside sources that your boss has plans to eliminate the Irish mafia. I hate to admit it, but he is cunning when it comes to planning revenge and we aren’t too keen on being taken down. So tell me- how exactly does he plan to do it?” The knife swung in the man’s hand catching the light and making it look even more deadly.  
“I don’t know.” Mark muttered, his words receiving a disbelieving laugh.  
“You are the boss’ personal bodyguard and you expect us to believe you don’t know?” The man abruptly stopped laughing and swung the knife down, piercing right through the middle of Mark’s hand. He couldn’t even hear his own scream as his head once again became foggy with pain.  
“Wh- whatever questions you have- I won’t be able to answer them. I d-don’t know as much as you think I do.” Mark blurted out, gasping for air. Tears were streaming down his face and he felt like he was going to vomit. He had half the mind to look at his hand. The knife was still in it, and blood was gushing from the wound. Mark shut his eyes as nausea overtook him again.  
“Let me repeat myself again.” The man stepped closer to Mark and bent down so they were face-to-face. He wore a sickeningly sweet smile like he was enjoying seeing Mark’s pain-twisted face- he probably was. “I don’t believe you.”  
Mark’s eyes snapped back to the woman who was now holding a torch gun in one hand, and a metal rod in the other. The end of the rod was pointed, and was over the flame; turning yellow and orange.  
“Want to tell us anything yet?” He asked, taking the metal rod from the woman.  
“I told you, I don’t know anything.” Mark told them again, desperately hoping that they’d believe him. They didn’t.  
The burning metal was dragged down his left arm before being pressed down into his thigh. Mark once again cried out in agony. The smell of burnt flesh burned his nose. With no time to recover, the man yanked the knife out of Mark’s hand. Mark found himself doubling over and puking on the floor. A hand grabbed his broken shoulder and shoved him back so he was sitting upright again. More agonizing pain. It was too much all at once for Mark, and he found himself slowly slipping out of consciousness. He didn’t try to fight it this time, accepting the unconsciousness and the pain-free moment it would offer him. 

~~~~~~

When Mark woke again, he was offered no break. The torture continued until Mark wasn’t sure he would ever fully recover from his injuries. They had pulled most of his nails, crushed his fingers, broken his leg, and countless other things Mark couldn’t even recall anymore. He was living in an endless cycle of anguish and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could take it. He wasn’t sure how much time had gone by since he continued to slip in and out of consciousness fairly often. He assumed it had been a couple of days at least since he began to feel starved. He found himself beginning to dissociate when the man and the woman came into the room. He tried to think of happy times back when he lived with his family, or some nights when he and Sean had time to talk. He also thought about Ethan and them watching the sunset together, happy smiles on both their faces as they told stupid jokes. God, Mark couldn’t help but want to sob when he thought back on those times. He didn’t think anyone was coming for him and he had accepted his fate. He was going to die there, and he was ready for it to happen. He was so tired of begging for them to believe him, begging for them to stop. He had given up hope.

“Wake up,” The man said in a cold voice when he came into the room. “Today is your final day.”  
Mark’s eyes shot open, slowly bringing his head up to look at him.  
“We’ve decided that you are of no use to us, so-” The man pulled out a gun from his back pocket, aiming it at Mark, “- you’re taking up space now.”  
Mark let out a sigh, head dropping again and eyes closing. This was it. He was finally going to be free. Mark had never been scared of dying, sure he had never wanted to, but dying was better than being alive in his situation.  
The gun clicked and Mark took a deep breath.  
He was ready.  
Mark didn’t even flinch when the gun went off. He did startle, however, when a loud thump was heard in front of him. Mark quickly looked up to see the man slumped over on the ground, blood already pooling around his head. And there in the doorway-  
“Ethan?” Mark’s hoarse voice whispered.  
“Oh my god, Mark!” Ethan rushed over to him, men coming in behind him and guarding the door, “fuck, what did they do to you? I’m so fucking sorry we couldn’t get to you sooner.” His voice was unsteady as he looked the raven-haired man over. Mark flinched when he pulled a pocket knife out of his pocket.  
“It’s ok.” Ethan quickly assured him. “I’m just getting this rope off of you and then we can get out of here.”  
The ropes were quickly cut off of Mark's hands and feet, a dull ache lingered in his wrists and ankles from being tied so tightly. Ethan went to reach for his right arm, trying to help him up.  
“Stop,” Mark frantically said, “Other side, please, my shoulder’s broken.”  
The brunette simply nodded, lips pursed, and lifted Mark’s left arm over his shoulders.  
“Thank you.” Mark whispered as he was slowly guided to the door.  
“Of course. I couldn’t leave you here.” Ethan replied quietly, nodding to the people who had been guarding the door. “Now try to stay quiet, we still need to get out of here.”  
Mark hummed, leaning almost all of his weight on Ethan. His unbroken leg felt like jelly, making it hard to stay upright, even with Ethan’s help. Mark saw that the building he was in was similar to a giant warehouse. Under different circumstances, Mark would’ve paid attention to the escape route they were taking, just in case. This time, however, his mind was too preoccupied with trying not to yell out in pain anytime he moved. His bottom lip was chapped and bleeding from biting down on it to stop the pained sounds from coming out of his mouth.  
“Sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” Ethan whispered whenever they had to take a particularly jarring step.  
Mark let out a sigh of relief as they pushed through a door that allowed sunlight to filter in. He was guided into a car, Ethan sitting next to him, worriedly chewing his lip.  
“You shouldn’t have come to get me,” Mark told him, his head lolling to the side. “It’s more dangerous for you.”  
A sad laugh sounded from the man next to him.  
“You really think I was just going to leave you there?” Ethan questioned.  
“Well, I had hoped not, but I mean- you could’ve just sent some people to get me. You didn’t have to come help me too.” He mumbled, eyes closing as exhaustion hit him.  
“Hey, Mark come on man.” Ethan brought a hand up to Mark’s face, gently cupping his cheek. “You gotta stay awake for a little bit longer.”  
Mark grumbled and tried to pry his eyes open, his gaze locking with Ethan’s.  
“There we go. I promise as soon as the doctor checks you out you can sleep for as long as you need.” His expression was soft with concern. A bump in the road caused Mark to shoot upright in a panic. Pain seared through his body and he grimaced, slumping back down again. Adrenaline was still coursing through his body, however, as he remembered the crash.  
“Try to relax, ok? I promise we’re driving very carefully. There are a lot of people with us right now. Nothing bad will happen.” Ethan quickly tried to soothe him, seemingly reading his mind about his fear of crashing. His hand had dropped from Mark’s face and was now gingerly resting on his knee as if touching him made him real.  
The rest of the car ride was silent, except for the occasional reassurance from Ethan whenever there was a particularly bad bump in the road. 

When they got back to Ethan’s house, a doctor was waiting in one of the guest rooms in the main house. After a thorough examination, the doctor set to work on fixing Mark up. She first cleaned and bandaged all the cuts. The cleaning process hurt like hell even with the painkillers, he found himself squeezing Ethan’s hand during the process. Then, she had to reset his broken bones and put them in casts, which, once again, caused him extraordinary pain.  
Finally, once the doctor had left the painkillers started to kick in. He was hooked up to several machines and IV’s, which would normally bother him. Right then, though, he couldn’t give two shits about it.  
Mark glanced over at Ethan who had pulled a chair up to the bed.  
“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I’m sure you’re exhausted too.” Mark quietly told him, causing the other man to shake his head with a disbelieving smile.  
“You’re really concerned with me getting enough sleep right now?” He smiled and Mark gave a lopsided grin, the drugs were starting to kick in.  
“There’s no way I’m leaving right now, so please get some rest.” Ethan encouraged him, gently placing a hand on Mark’s arm. The raven-haired man didn’t need to be told twice, finally allowed himself to shut his eyes.  
“Goodnight, Mark.”


	8. Recovery’s a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter with not very much action, but I think poor Mark deserved a break.

The recovery process was hell and went by way too slowly for Mark. He was a person who always wanted to be doing something. Taking time to relax wasn’t something he was used to or something that he liked. So, when he was told to ‘slow down’ or ‘be patient’ during his physical therapy, he didn’t listen very well. Dr. Miller, who had taken care of him as soon as he came in the first time, was the only person he had seen regularly during those few months. She was kind but didn’t put up with his constant need to rush everything. Oftentimes she had to level him with a glare when he tried to push himself a little harder.  
He had only seen Ethan one other time, and he had been acting off. He seemed to blame himself for what had happened, judging by his guilt-ridden expression. Ethan had, in fact, been planning to take down the Irish Mafia. He didn’t go into too much detail, but he already had a couple of people undercover gathering information. The raven-haired man also found out that Junior had been found dead at the crash scene. It wasn't surprising news considering they had been hit on Junior's side, but it still saddened Mark nonetheless. It also informed them that the Irish mafia had known Junior wasn't Ethan. They wouldn't have killed him. Holding him for ransom would've gotten them whatever they wanted.  
After Ethan had visited him, Mark found himself wishing that he came to see him more. Those feelings were quickly pushed aside, however. He was an important and very busy man. Visiting Mark was probably at the bottom of the list of things he had to do.

~~~~

The day had finally come where he could officially go back to work. As he got dressed that morning, he winced, examining the scarring and burn marks scattered across his body. The scar in the middle of his hand was by far the worst. It was raised unevenly and still had a pinkish color. Mark tilted his head. The sun now caught on the mirror, much like how light glinted on the blade of a knife. He quickly threw his shirt on over his head, anxiety washing over him. He spun around and shut the curtains, breathing heavily. The man squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head.  
_What am I doing?_  
His hands shook as he quickly put on his shoes, letting out a sigh to try and relax. He still felt uneasy as he walked out into the courtyard, across to the main house where he knew Ethan was working. The house felt like a maze to Mark, so when he saw that the office door was open and Ethan wasn’t there, he sighed. He checked room, after room, getting increasingly confused as to where he was. Finally, he found Ethan sitting on a couch, eating bacon, and eggs. His head shot up and locked eyes with Mark.  
“Oh! It’s you.” Ethan smiled before taking another bite of his food, “I wasn’t sure if you were coming back today or tomorrow.”  
The tension in Mark’s shoulders lessened; the lingering worry from that morning was forgotten as Ethan smiled at him. He decidedly ignored as to why he immediately felt better and gave a half-smile back.  
“Yep, today’s the day.” Mark took a few more steps into the room. “God, I was so fucking tired of doing nothing.”  
“Well don’t worry, you haven’t missed much. Lots of boring planning and plotting.” His expression hardened, “I’m taking those Irish assholes down even if it’s the last thing I do.”  
Mark couldn’t help but raise his eyebrows slightly. He sounded pissed. To be fair, Mark hated them too, considering all that had happened.  
“I’ll support that decision.” Mark huffed, involuntarily running his fingers along the scar on his palm. Ethan’s eyes shot down to his hand and physically winced.  
“I’m sorry.” He said quietly, causing Mark to furrow his eyebrows.  
“You don’t have to be sorry. It wasn’t you who did this.” Mark tried assuring him.  
“It is my fault though. I was the one who asked you to be my bodyguard, and I’m the one who is trying to take them down, hence why they took you for interrogation.” He looked angry, not at Mark though.  
“I could’ve declined your offer to be your bodyguard.” Mark countered, “So, using your logic, this would be my fault as well.”  
Ethan opened his mouth to argue and then shut it with a sigh.  
“Ok ok, I give. I’m still really fucking sorry that it happened though. If only we could’ve gotten to you sooner. We could’ve if only I-”  
“In the most respectful way possible- shut up.” Mark deadpanned with a shake of his head. “You have too much to worry about so let me tell you this right now. I don’t blame you for what happened, so you can let it go. I promise. I signed up for this job and I knew that meant putting myself in dangerous situations.”  
“...I don’t want you getting hurt,” Ethan replied softly, looking at his hands. His admission was so quiet Mark wasn’t sure if he was supposed to hear it. He found himself questioning Ethan’s words again. Mark was his bodyguard, which meant that when worse came to worse, Mark was supposed to risk his life to save Ethan’s. He knew that he didn’t want to get hurt either, but that was literally what his job was. That’s why he had been hired. So why was the brunette so against it? Mark opened his mouth to question him, but Ethan beat him to it.  
“Anyway, I have to meet with Felix again today. We have to discuss a shipment that will help with the Irish situation.” His tone was oddly neutral. He cleared his throat and stood, walking past Mark to the doorway.  
“We’ll leave in 5 minutes.” He said curtly, not glancing back.  
Then he was out the door, making Mark groan and rub his eyes. Ethan’s weird mood swings gave him whiplash every time. Mark didn’t think he had said anything wrong this time, in fact, Ethan was the last one to say anything before he grew cold again. All he had said was that he didn’t want Mark hurt. How had that caused it?  
Amy came around the corner a second later after Ethan had left. She quickly glanced to the side, where Ethan had gone, before looking at Mark.  
“You good?” She questioned, an eyebrow raised.  
“Oh, uh- yeah I’m all good.” That earned a small scoff.  
“Listen, don’t worry about him. That’s how the boss acts all the time- distant and uncaring. The fact that he actually cared enough to save you from that warehouse was out of character enough for him.”  
“What do you mean?” The man found himself questioning.  
“If it had been any of the other bodyguards, even his past personal one, I highly doubt he would’ve taken the time to rescue them.”  
He would’ve left them? Mark could hardly imagine it. Ethan seemed like a pretty good person, despite the circumstances he was in.  
“Don’t think about it too hard, you’ll get it eventually.” Amy laughed softly like she had told a joke. If she had, Mark didn’t get it. He looked at her with a blank expression, making Amy roll her eyes.  
“God, you’re clueless.” She shook her head and walked away. Before she disappeared, she called over her shoulder, “You better hurry up before they leave without you.”  
That spurred Mark into motion as he quickly made his way out of the house and into the courtyard again, seeing Ethan getting in a car.

He hopped in the seat next to Ethan, who didn’t even glance at him. He seemed to be too engrossed with his phone, typing something quickly as they began to drive. Mark kept his gaze looking out the window. His stomach began to twist uncomfortably as they got onto the road. The anxiety that he had felt that morning settled in his stomach. Mark found himself extremely grateful that he wasn’t driving. Fuck- Mark didn’t think he would ever be able to drive again.  
A bump in the road had him gripping the grab handle on the car door. In the back of his mind, he felt dumb for being so scared of something that had previously never bothered him. But every time the car gave a little jolt, the sound of crushing metal flashed in his mind. Then came the dull white light in the small dingy room, and that man’s terrible laugh that made his blood run cold.  
A knife.  
A flame.  
Hot metal searing his skin.  
The crunch of broken bones.  
Mark almost jumped out of his skin when he felt something nudge his foot. His gaze shot down to his foot to see- oh, it was just Ethan’s foot. He glanced up, still on edge.  
“Hey, you alright?” Ethan asked his eyebrows furrowed slightly, concern written all over his face.  
“Y-yeah.” Mark had to clear his throat, which was now dry. “I’m fine.”  
Ethan looked at Mark’s hand.  
“If you grab that handle any tighter, you might break it.” Mark now looked at his own hand and winced. His knuckles were completely white with how hard he had been holding on. He slowly released his grip, his hand aching slightly.  
“Are you sure you’re fine?” The click of a seatbelt almost made Mark’s heart stop. Ethan had unbuckled to shift closer into the middle seat.  
“Fuck- Ethan, please put your seatbelt back on.” Mark frantically told him, his voice rising in a panic. The brunette’s eyes widened and suddenly understanding flooded through his face.  
“Oh, shit... I’m sorry.” He quickly buckled himself back in and Mark let out the breath he had been holding. “I should’ve realized.”  
“It’s ok,” Mark replied wearily, looking out the window again. He took a deep breath and shut his eyes.  
He just wanted the car ride to be over with.


	9. Awkward Conversations and Hugs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: the f slur is used once in this chapter
> 
> -Also I wanted to say thank you for 100+ kudos?!! That’s insane ily :)

It wasn’t getting better.  
Poorly lit rooms, car rides, and any physical touch sent Mark into a downward spiral every time. Ethan had accidentally brushed his hand against Mark’s wrist, and he had immediately jerked his hand away. He could almost feel the raw burn of the rope on his skin again. He was able to hide this from everyone except Ethan since he was around him almost 24/7.  
Anytime Mark flinched or froze in panic, guilt would flash across Ethan’s face. Mark hated that he did that. He wanted the brunette to believe that he didn’t blame him- he never had. It had created a weird tension between them. There were no more easy conversations or dumb jokes. Mark tried, though he still wasn’t ready to talk about how he was feeling, which is what Ethan seemed to want him to do. This, in turn, made Ethan feel like he had to walk on eggshells around Mark.  
He still did his job, of course. Mark wasn’t one to put his own needs first, ever. Maybe it was unhealthy. His mother used to scold him about it. Saying that it was important to take care of himself, otherwise he’d “burn out by the time he was 25”. He ignored his mother's warning though, being the stubborn ass he was. Plus, he figured, all he had been doing recently was escorting Ethan to different meetings and keeping an eye out for anything suspicious. Simple enough, right?  
But things weren’t simple, Mark soon found out, especially when it came to his fucked up life.

“We’re headed for Sweden. There’s a party for Felix’s birthday tonight.”  
Mark was told as he followed slightly behind Ethan towards the jet. He was carrying Ethan’s suitcase again, even though the other man insisted that he didn’t have to.  
“It’s a masquerade ball and trust me when I say it’s not going to be a small gathering. He likes things to be extravagant.”  
“I’m guessing this party is also a way for the bosses to get together and make some deals too?” Mark questioned, taking Ethan’s stiff posture as a sign that it wasn’t going to be a fun event.  
“You’d be correct,” Ethan replied, climbing the steps up into the plane.  
Felix, Mark had discovered, was the Swedish Mafia boss. Mark had known Felix held some kind of higher position when he first encountered the man just based on how he carried himself, but he hadn’t been sure just how much power he had.  
Mark shuffled onto the jet and put the bags in the overhead compartments. Ethan had stepped into the cockpit, talking with the pilot about something. Mark made his way back to the seat he had sat in the last time he had flown. He let out a sigh, it seemed like years had gone by since he had left New York. He didn’t really have anything there to go back for, but he did miss Sean. They had texted a few times, but it was difficult with schedules and the time zone difference.  
The jet jolted, starting to move, and Mark made sure he had his seatbelt on. He found himself extremely grateful that they were flying, rather than driving again. He had hoped his fear of driving would start to fade, but it hadn’t yet. He found his palms begin to sweat just thinking about it. He instead focused on the soft sound of footsteps on the carpeted floor coming towards him. He was almost surprised that Ethan sat across from him, assuming that he’d want to keep his distance when they were alone together. Mark couldn’t blame him though, their conversations had been tense and awkward. This was actually the first time in a while where it was just them, Mark found himself thinking.  
“It’s been some time since we’ve been on the jet,” Ethan commented, pulling out his phone. Mark hummed in agreement, glancing away from the window to look at Ethan for a moment. His expression was steeled, but the way he slightly fidgeted with his phone told Mark that he felt uncomfortable.  
“How are you feeling?” He then asked, catching Mark off guard for a moment. He had generally avoided any topics that he thought would upset Mark.  
“I’m fine.” Mark made himself give a little smile. Ethan didn’t seem happy with the answer though and looked down at his phone. He looked up at Mark for a split second and opened his mouth, like he was going to say something, but then snapped it shut. Mark considered trying to start up a conversation, but knew it would be in vain. He had been trying for a while and had all but given up.  
For the rest of the three-hour flight, Ethan stayed focused on his phone while Mark read a book he brought. Well- at least Mark tried to read. He found that he couldn’t focus very well, instead, he thought about the man that was sitting across from him. He longed for things to go back to how they were before everything happened. He wanted Ethan to believe that he wasn’t upset at him. He wanted Ethan to talk without feeling uncomfortable. He wanted to be able to sit in silence that wasn’t so unpleasant or to be able to talk for hours without running out of things to say. The longing for things he couldn’t have made his chest ache and fuck- Ethan was literally sitting right there. He was so close that Mark could reach out and touch him if he wanted and he really wanted to, he realized. He desperately wanted to just hold his hand. He wasn’t even sure where that desire had come from. Maybe it was because he felt like he lost so much that he wanted something more- more than they had before. Or maybe Mark had always wanted more. Ever since Ethan had insisted on making Mark food on that first day, or when Ethan’s eyes had glimmered with wonder when Mark talked about space, or that night on the balcony when they watched the sunset. Fuck- Mark didn’t even know anymore. 

~~~~~~~~

The plane finally landed after an agonizing 3 hours of Mark’s spiraling thoughts. It was a (luckily) short drive to the fanciest hotel Mark had ever seen. The inside was decorated with intricate gold molding and archways with columns. Even the marble floor had designs etched into it.  
The sun had already begun to set by the time they had checked in. The rooms were next to each other, connected by a door that Ethan had opened as soon as they had gotten settled. It was dangerous staying in a public place, so staying close together was the safest option. 

Now Mark found himself in front of the biggest house he’d ever seen in his life.  
“Holy shit.” He breathed out, feeling his heart swell when Ethan chuckled beside him. It didn’t even feel right to call it a house, it almost looked like a whole damn castle. The doors were open but guarded by two scary looking guys. The open doors and windows let warm light spill out into the night, carrying the sound of an orchestra playing and chatter from guests inside. Mark had been given a black three-piece suit that fit him perfectly. The mask was also black with small gold details. It covered almost all of his face, going over his left and right eyes before curving down the right side of his face to his chin. Ethan also had a three-piece suit. It was dark grey with a white undershirt and maroon tie. His mask matched his tie and covered less of his face than Mark’s did. It curved up, rather than down, towards his hair.  
It was unfair how good he looked, Mark found himself thinking.  
They walked up to the doors, Ethan showing one of the men a ticket, and walked inside. Mark could already tell that a lot of people were already tipsy. He followed Ethan through the crowd of people and up the stairs, where significantly fewer people were. The carpeted floors muffled the noise and gave Mark an odd sense of peace.  
He hated large crowds.  
He made a beeline for a door with a man standing outside of it, who promptly opened the door for them. Inside was what looked to be a lounge. A few people were standing stiffly around the edges of the room or next to someone, wearing something similar to Mark.  
_So those are the other bodyguards._ Mark made a mental note.  
“Look who it is!” Someone called out, probably a little too loudly for the quiet atmosphere of the room.  
“Hello, Felix.” Ethan greeted as the man came up, giving him a pat on the shoulder.  
“Thanks for coming, I appreciate it. I know this isn’t the best company to be around…” Felix pointedly glanced over to where a man was near the corner of the room, sat in a large comfortable looking chair. He had red hair and looked to be in his late 30s. Something about him made Mark instantly on edge. He was talking with someone else, but Mark couldn’t see them very well since their back was turned.  
“Well, I’m glad to be here,” Ethan replied easily, a trained smile on his face. Felix nodded before gesturing around the room.  
“Feel free to roam around. There’s food and drinks downstairs in the kitchen. I’d suggest getting all of the business stuff done now so you can have fun later.”  
They parted ways and Ethan’s eyes trained on the corner of the room again, where the man was still sitting. He was no longer talking to anyone, instead, he was reading a book. Ethan took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind on something, schooled his expression into one of nonchalance, and walked over. He sat in the chair across from the man, elbows on the armrests and his hands clasped in front of him. The air had shifted around them, it felt dangerous now. Mark stood next to Ethan, his arms folded behind him.  
“I was wondering how long it would take for you to get here.” The other man said, finally glancing up from his book and giving a sickly sweet smile, almost mocking.  
“I’m here now,” Ethan replied, giving a fake smile of his own, “and I’m guessing you know why.”  
“Let me think…” The man tapped his chin as if thinking. Mark saw Ethan’s shoulder tense up, obviously irritated by the other man’s sarcasm.  
“It seems to have slipped my mind. Could you remind me?”  
“You destroyed half my shipment and stalked me in Italy. Why?” Ethan retorted, tone cold. Mark finally made the connection. That was the Irish Mafia boss.  
“I know you’re still new to this business so let me help you out.” The other man leaned forward in his chair like he wanted to tell Ethan a secret. “It’s all about money, kid, and- since you are the newest and youngest boss- you’re an easier target.”  
“If I’m an easy target, why have you tried to kill me so many times? Wouldn’t you want to keep me for easy money?” Ethan practically growled.  
“Normally, yes. But you’re a faggot and I want you gone.” That seemed to hit a nerve and Ethan stood up, a fire in his eyes. The other man stood too, smirking.  
“Well, it was nice chatting with you, but I’d like to join the party. Have a wonderful night.” The man walked off, leaving Mark and Ethan there. Ethan’s gaze was locked onto where the man had been standing previously.  
“Boss?” Mark questioned, touching his shoulder gently when he didn’t react. Ethan jerked away from the touch and swung around to face Mark, eyes wild. Mark stepped back as Ethan blinked a few times, seemingly remembering where he was.  
“Oh, it’s just you.” He took a breath and shook his head. “Sorry, I-”  
“It’s alright.” Mark cut him off, not wanting him to apologize for something like that, “Let’s finish up greeting whoever you wanted to talk to in here, then get you a drink or something.”  
Ethan gave a small smile and nodded.

Ethan only talked to a few other people that night. It was more friendly than the first time, which Mark was glad for. Ethan had thrown up some sort of facade, making him appear calm and confident. He easily conversed with the other people, often in some sort of code when they got to more secretive details.  
Finally, they left the room and descended the stairs, the party had gotten louder as most people were drunk now and the dancing was less elegant as people stumbled. Mark followed Ethan into the kitchen where he grabbed a glass of champagne, quickly drinking the whole thing before getting another.  
“I’m never going to anyone’s birthday ever again.” He grumbled after drinking half the second one. Mark chuckled before movement caught his eye. Down the hall was the Irish boss with his guard. They were leaving out a backdoor. He had a small black box in his hand and Mark squinted at it. It looked mechanical. Dread washed over him like a freezing cold shower. Mark immediately rushed over to a guard that was standing by the stairs.  
“Get everyone that’s upstairs out of here now, don’t create any suspicion though. Then if there's time get the guests out too.” The man nodded before quickly hurrying up the stairs. He felt bad about putting their lives about the guests, but he knew that if they panicked they’d all die. He hurried over to Ethan, who was looking at him with a puzzled expression.  
“Wha-” Ethan started when Mark grabbed his arm.  
“No time to explain. We need to leave.” He pulled Ethan down the hall to the backdoor and led them out into the cold night air. He started to run around the front of the house and down the street. They needed to get as far away from that house as possible. Only when Mark felt like they were a good distance away did he stop.  
“Alright, dude you need to tell me what’s going on now,” Ethan said between breaths, looking up at Mark.  
“I saw-” He began, but was cut off by what sounded like a gunshot that made the ground shake. Ethan spun around as Felix’s house went up in flames.  
_A gunshot would’ve been better_ Mark thought sadly.  
“I saw the Irish boss with a detonator as he left through a backdoor.” Mark continued quietly, letting out a breath.  
“Fuck.” Ethan breathed out before panic washed over his face. “What about Felix and other bosses?”  
“You saw me alert one of the guards to get them out. I’m hoping that they’re okay.” Mark replied.  
Ethan didn’t reply, instead, he surprised Mark by hugging him. Normally, Mark would welcome a hug, but at the moment he couldn’t relax. Ethan had Mark’s arms pinned down to his side since the older man hadn’t anticipated the hug. He felt restrained- a feeling he had come to hate.  
_It’s just Ethan. It’s just Ethan._ Mark found himself repeating in his head.  
Ethan seemed to notice his discomfort and pulled away quickly, Mark letting out a breath involuntarily. Damnit- did Mark make it awkward again? This was the first time things had seemed normal, but Mark couldn’t squash his discomfort in time. He shuffled his feet and looked back up at Ethan. He seemed to be in thought, he was biting the inside of his cheek and his eyebrows were furrowed slightly. Ethan slowly took a step forward and opened his arms again, reaching them around Mark without pinning his arms.  
“M’sorry I keep fucking this up.” He murmured quietly, keeping his arms loose around Mark, “I’m bad with words and I wanted to say thank you.”  
Mark hesitantly brought his own arms up and wrapped them around Ethan’s shoulders. Just having his arms free made him feel instantly better.  
“It’s alright. Just got some stuff going on in my head is all.” Mark replied, finally sinking into the hug, “It’s not something you can control.”  
“I know, but I feel like I’m making it worse. I- I want you to feel better, I just don’t know how to help.”  
“This isn’t something you can fix, Ethan. I have to deal with it. Maybe it’s taking a little longer than I had hoped, but eventually, I’ll feel alright.”  
Ethan pulled away and nodded, seemingly ending the conversation. Mark, however, still wanted to get something off his chest.  
“Also, please don’t avoid me. I know you don’t want to make me uncomfortable by accidentally saying the wrong thing, but I’d rather that happen than not talk to you.”  
Ethan gave a small smile and rubbed the side of his arm before nodding again.  
A ringing from Ethan’s pocket startled both of them. Ethan quickly fished his phone out and answered it.  
“Hi, Felix.” Ethan gave Mark a relieved smile, “Yeah, we’re all good, what about you? Okay… I will.” Ethan hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket.  
“Felix sends this thanks to you. They were able to get out and far enough away before the house exploded.” He told him.  
“What about the guests?” Mark asked, eyebrows scrunched up in concern. Most of the people there weren’t part of the Mafia. They were just rich friends of Felix who thought he had old money.  
“Unfortunately only some of them left before the detonator went off.” He replied, before continuing when he saw Mark's face fall, “Mark, you saved a lot of people today. You did an amazing job.”  
Ethan bumped their elbows together.  
“C’mon, let's head back to the hotel. I’m fucking exhausted. Plus I downed a couple more glasses of champagne when you left me.”  
“I was gone for like 5 seconds!” Mark exclaimed, eyes widening.  
“Yeah, well I…” Ethan stopped for a second. “...I have no excuse other than I wanted to get drunk.” This sent Mark into a fit of laughter, Ethan following shortly after.  
“You know what? That’s fair.” Mark finally said as they started walking down the sidewalk.  
They arrived back at the hotel by the time the alcohol had gotten into Ethan’s system. He kept stumbling over his feet as they walked to the room, making Mark put his arm over his shoulders. He chuckled quietly when Ethan collapsed face-first into his bed.  
“My limbs feel like jello.” He groaned into the bed. “And my brain feels like jello too.”  
Mark took off his suit jacket and hung it on a hook in his room before making his way back over to Ethan.  
“Dude, you’re going to suffocate if you fall asleep like that.” He commented, making Ethan grumble. He rolled over and sat up, fumbling with the buttons of his own jacket. After struggling for longer than he should he finally shucked it off. He groaned when he saw the rest of the buttons of his vest and undershirt. He looked up but froze when he locked eyes with Mark. His eyes raked down and then back up. Jesus christ- Mark felt his whole body heat up.  
“Uhm- do you want to help me?”  
The question was highly suggestive, especially after how he had just looked at Mark. He brushed it off as just Ethan being drunk and decided to help anyway. It would’ve taken him years to unbutton everything with his drunk, fumbling hands.  
Mark stepped up closer to him, unbuttoning the vest before letting Ethan take it off. Mark’s breath hitched as he started unbuttoning his shirt.  
_Stupid brain thinking stupid things._ He thought bitterly, trying to pull his brain out of the gutter.  
Finally, the final button came undone and Mark stepped back quickly, making sure there was plenty of space in between him and a now shirtless Ethan.  
“Ok, well I’m going to bed.” He said quickly, “goodnight, Ethan.”  
“Goodnight and thank you,” Ethan replied, no longer looking at Mark. He had instead already begun to unbutton his pants. Mark quickly left the room and sat on the edge of his own bed, hands running through his hair. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why did he feel like this? He’d of course had crushes on othe-  
Crushes… Did he just-?  
Fuck- did Mark have a crush on Ethan?  
All the voices in Mark’s head went- yes dumbass, of course you have a crush on him! How could you not? You literally wanted to hold his hand on the plane.  
Mark had always known that his fondness was maybe a little too much for a friendship, but he hadn’t used the word “crush” yet.  
“Maarkk.” A voice from the other room called out to him. “Can you turn off the light for me? I don't wanna move”  
Mark shuffled into Ethan’s room again, seeing him bundled up in blankets, his hair sticking up in all different directions. Ethan gave him a sleepy smile and shut his eyes. Mark found himself smiling despite his jumbled up thoughts. How could he have not fallen for Ethan?  
After shutting off the lights and saying goodnight for a second time, he undressed and climbed into his own bed. The adrenaline rush from that day had fizzled, leaving him achingly tired.  
It didn’t take long for him to drift off.


	10. I'm Never Flying Again

They didn’t talk about that night afterward. In fact, the only reason Mark knew Ethan remembered was because when Mark saw him the next morning, his face flushed and he quickly mumbled something about going to shower. Mark didn’t stop him, of course. He was obviously embarrassed about it. Mark was too. Ethan knew, which meant he probably remembered just how easy it was to get Mark to help him undress. Maybe he should’ve protested a little? Just to make it seem like he didn’t want to. He would’ve done that if he had been thinking clearly, which he hadn’t. His brain had been clouded with the thought of Ethan. 

When Ethan had gotten out of the bathroom it was as if nothing had happened. They had gotten breakfast at the hotel and then flew back to Italy. The easy conversations were back, Mark was happy and also a little confused to find. Things were normal again, which he thought would ease his sudden need to be closer to the other man. It had instead done the opposite, something he should’ve predicted.   
His thoughts weren’t like the ones he had been having during that night at the hotel. They were more… domestic now. The urge to hold Ethan’s hand was back. Mark was bewildered by his want. It was something so small and trivial, holding someone’s hand, but Mark wanted it so bad. He also found himself wanting Ethan to just be closer to him. He had sat across from Mark when they had eaten breakfast and when they were on the jet, it just wasn’t enough. He wanted Ethan to lean on him like the first day they had been in Italy. When he had gotten out of a meeting with Felix and he was so tired he could barely walk. That day felt so long ago.

Mark blinked a few times, zoning back into the conversation he was supposed to be listening to.  
“Hellooo? Earth to Mark?” Ethan was waving his hands in front of Mark. He had an amused expression on his face, contrasting with the irritated one Amy had directed at him.  
“Shit, sorry I zoned out. What were we talking about?” He replied sheepishly and ducking his head slightly. Amy sighed and started speaking.  
“He was saying that you both are going back to New York. With Cormac here trying to take everyone out, it’s not safe.”  
Cormac, Mark had learned, was the Irish Mafia boss’ name. They were still unsure as to why he tried to kill off all the Mafia bosses at once. He had alliances with a few of them and, whether they liked to admit it or not, all the bosses had relied on at least one other boss for some sort of trade.   
“Ok, gotcha.” Mark nodded, acknowledging Amy before she broke his neck, which he was 100% sure she could (and would) if he didn’t answer and zoned out again.   
“You guys are leaving within the hour, so pack up.” She said before leaving them.  
“She definitely hates me.” Mark deadpanned.  
“Well, you did completely zone out and ignore us so..” Ethan shrugged with a smile.  
“I didn’t mean to. I just have a lot on my mind.”  
“Like what?” Ethan pressed, stepping closer, and oh hell no. There was no way Mark was going to tell Ethan about how he was literally thinking about him in a not-so-platonic way.  
“I don’t know. Just why Cormac would try to pull something like that.” Mark lied through his teeth. Ethan narrowed his eyes a little. Fuck- he knew Mark was lying. There was a brief pause like Ethan was deciding whether or not to call his bluff.  
“Yeah, it wasn’t really a smart move on his part,” Ethan replied finally, going along with Mark.  
“That’s what I’m saying. There has to be more to this than we think.” Mark rubbed the back of his neck, “Anyway, we should probably pack like Amy said.”  
“You’re right.” Ethan sighed, “I have to say bye to Spencer too, and that will take at least 30 minutes.”  
Mark gave him a sad smile. He knew how much Ethan loved that dog and wanted to bring him with them. Unfortunately, having a dog in an apartment wasn’t the best idea. Having to take him on walks would put Ethan on a schedule, making him an easy target. Plus, none of the other bosses knew where Ethan lived in New York. He had managed to keep that a secret somehow and walking a dog in and out of that building would make it more likely to be discovered.   
Mark went back to the guest house and packed the few things he had brought with him. It was mainly just a few changes of clothes, a toothbrush, toothpaste, and deodorant. He had never owned anything sentimental. He knew lots of people that kept something that their parents used to own like a necklace or watch. Mark preferred to keep memories rather than things. 

After Mark packed his bag, he walked out into the plaza and put his stuff in the car which was ready to take them to the airport. He figured Ethan had already lost track of time, probably too focused on Spencer, so he went into the house to look for him. It didn’t take long because Ethan was right at the door, sitting on the floor. He was hugging Spencer tightly, his face buried in the gray fur.   
“I’m gonna miss you, bub.” His words were muffled. Spencer simply sat there, obviously not knowing what was going on, wagging his tail.   
“You almost ready?” Mark asked with a smile on his face. Ethan’s head shot up and he frowned.  
“I don’t want to leave him.” He said sadly before Spencer licked his face, “Ew, Spence, gross.”  
He laughed and gently pushed Spencer away from him. He stood and grabbed the suitcase that had been next to him.  
“You won’t be gone forever.” Mark gently reminded him, hoping the sad look would leave his face. Seeing Ethan upset had automatically caused his spirits to lower too.  
“Yeah, I know. I just always feel bad.” Ethan sighed and checked his watch. “We should probably get going before Amy kills us for leaving late.”  
Mark huffed out a laugh and they walked to the car. The drive was longer than Mark would’ve liked, but luckily Ethan talked the whole time. Mark was glad because listening to Ethan was at least a partial distraction from all the alarms going off in his head. Anytime Mark seemed to zone out Ethan didn’t mention it, he would simply tap their feet together to get his attention again. It was something Mark was extremely grateful for. When they had ridden in silence, there had been nothing to drag Mark out of his own thoughts.

Eventually, they got on the jet again, something that Mark had come to enjoy. It was the only time he and Ethan had time to really talk. Plus he didn’t have any bad memories associated with flying yet so he counted that as a bonus.   
As the plane started moving, Ethan walked back from talking to the pilot (something Mark noticed he did every time). Mark couldn’t help but look down the hall at the pilot- he was different than their normal guy. The man gave a smile before going into the cockpit.  
“Who’s the new guy?” Mark questioned, automatically uneasy with new people.  
“Oh, apparently our regular pilot got sick unexpectedly. He said Amy called him in.” Ethan replied nonchalantly, clearly not as anxious as Mark.  
“Wouldn’t Amy usually tell us about a new guy flying us before we got onto the plane?” He pressed, pulling out his phone.  
“It probably just slipped her mind. This was a last-minute thing after all.” The other man sat back in his seat and buckled himself in. Mark sent a text.

Mark: I wanted to check rly quick- are we supposed to have a different pilot??

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, hoping the text would send before he lost internet connection. Luckily, “delivered” appeared under the text as they started to pick up speed down the runway.  
“You alright?” Ethan questioned, watching him with a concerned expression.  
“If I’m being honest- no,” Mark replied, unholstering his gun.  
“Whoa whoa.” Ethan raised up his hands, “Dude what’s going on.”  
“I just don’t trust this.”   
Just as the jet’s wheels left the ground, Mark’s phone dinged.

Amy: No. Get off the jet now.

“Fuck.” Mark breathed out, sitting rigidly in his seat. He looked up at Ethan and the brunette let out a shaky breath, picking up on what was going on.  
“Ok, well. He doesn’t know we know yet. Let’s keep it that way until we figure out a plan or something.” Ethan leaned in a little, keeping his voice low.  
“Right,” Mark agreed. “Amy knows something is wrong, but that doesn’t help us when we’re already in the sky. And we can’t contact her anymore because we have no connection. We can’t kill him, neither of us knows how to fly.” He rambled on, racking his brain for anything they could do.  
“I’ve flown a helicopter before.” Ethan offered, “I mean- it’s not a plane, but if worse comes to worst I could try?”   
Mark sighed and shook his head.  
“Yeah, bad idea. It’s all I got t-” Ethan suddenly froze, sitting upright in his seat. “Holy shit, wait.”   
He got up quickly and walked around to the back of his chair. Mark watched him unzip the back of the chair and pull out a bag.  
A parachute.  
“We’re still at a low enough altitude to use these. Grab the one in your seat too.”   
Mark didn’t need to be told twice, getting up quickly and getting his own parachute.  
“You know how to use one right?” Ethan questioned quickly, walking to the emergency exit, to which Mark nodded. They both quickly put the parachutes on their backs and made sure they were secure.  
“Ready?” Ethan looked at Mark, his hand on the red handle.  
“Yep, let’s go.”   
With a quick tug, the door opened, wind immediately rushing through the plane. The force caused Mark to have to shut his eyes for a moment, but when he opened them to jump something was wrong. Namey the fact that Ethan was currently frozen and looking down the barrel of a gun.  
It was the pilot.

“Take off the parachute.” The man ordered Ethan, yelling over the wind. He simply shook his head.  
“I said,” The man moved his arm, the gun now pointing at Mark, “Take it off.”  
To Mark’s dismay, Ethan practically jumped into action and shucked the bag off his back.  
“Oh, who would’ve thought? He actually cares about his little bodyguard here?” The man wore a wicked smile and stepped closer to Ethan.  
“Too bad you won’t remember him soon.”   
Time seemed to slow down. The pilot shoved Ethan and he stumbled, falling out through the emergency exit. The gun trained on Mark shot, but Mark had already started moving. It whizzed past his ear as he flung himself out of the jet. He was free-falling.   
In any other situation, he probably wouldn’t have jumped out of a plane without a second thought, but his brain simply kept repeating the words “Save Ethan. Save Ethan”  
Time caught back up and it all seemed too fast now. The wind whipped through his hair and made his eyes water. He searched frantically below him. Where the fuck was Ethan?  
It took way too long in Marks's opinion to finally spot Ethan. He was quite a ways below Mark already. Mark angled himself so he started falling faster, catching up to the other man.  
Mark reached and grabbed his arm, tugging him close and making Ethan wrap his arms around his neck.  
“Hold on!” Mark yelled though the command was unnecessary as Ethan already had a solid hold on him with his head tucked into his shoulder. With a sharp pull on the ripcord, the parachute opened, jolting them both a little.  
“Holy shit.” Mark could hear Ethan repeating now that wind wasn’t rushing past his ears. The brunette was hyperventilating and Mark could feel him shaking. He let go of one of the control lines for a second to wrap his arm around Ethan’s back.  
“Did he really fucking push me out of a jet?” Ethan continued speaking his voice shaky, “he could’ve shot me, but he decided to shove me so I could fall to my death?”  
He let out a humorless laugh and secured himself more by wrapping his legs around Mark’s torso.  
“I’m never flying ever again.”   
“Me neither.” Mark agreed quickly, grabbing onto the control line again as a gust of wind blew past them. He felt Ethan take a deep breath.  
“Thank you for saving my ass again.”   
“No problem.” Mark breathed out, looking down at the ground. They were getting closer, but they still had a ways to go. “Do you think either of our phones have service to text Amy?”  
Mark smiled when Ethan let out a laugh, his head still tucked into his shoulder.  
“Only you would think of that when we are still thousands of feet in the air.”  
“Yeah, well I have my priorities straight, unlike you.” Mark countered with a grin.  
“I don’t think this is the time to talk about whether my priorities are ‘straight’ or not.” Ethan joked, the innuendo not lost to Mark. He sputtered out a laugh, Ethan quickly following suit.  
“What the hell is wrong with us. We literally just almost died and we’re already making jokes.” Mark shook his head when the laughter quieted down.  
“Bad coping mechanisms.” Ethan replied, “It’ll catch up to us later.”  
Mark simply hummed in agreement. The rest of the descent was fairly silent except for a few comments from Ethan. Mark had luckily found an area of grass that they could land where they wouldn't get caught on trees. Mark took the brunt of the landing, almost falling over with Ethan still clinging to him. As soon as he slowed them to a stop the other man let go and laid face-first on the ground.  
“I’ve never been so glad to be back on the ground before.” He mumbled as Mark unclipped the parachute from himself. He laid down next to him on his back.  
He saw Ethan roll over in his peripherals and they both sat in silence for a moment, staring at the sky. He heard the grass rustle next to him and something touched his hand.  
Ethan had linked their pinkies together.   
Mark’s breathing stopped for a moment, but it didn’t dissuade his heart from beating faster. He could tell that Ethan was looking at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do the same. If he did, he was worried he’d say something stupid. He finally forced himself to breathe and gently wrapped his finger around Ethan’s a little more. He felt a little silly having something so small affect his heart so much. He had so much he wanted to say, but he was afraid words would ruin whatever moment was happening.  
Despite Mark’s want for them to continue to lay there for a while longer, the sound of a car engine startled them both. They sat up, quickly separating their hands as Mark pulled out his gun again. He stood, aiming it at the small black car that was approaching. It came to a stop in front of them. They both let out a sigh of relief as Amy stepped out of the car.  
“Oh my god, you’re both alive.” She rushed over to them, surprising Mark when she pulled them both into a hug.  
“Aw, Amy does care about us after all.” Mark teased, making Ethan laugh and Amy sigh.  
“Shut up and let me hug you both.” She said, her tone had an edge to it, but Mark could tell it was just because she had been worried.  
“How'd you find us?” Mark questioned.  
“I started tracking your phones as soon as I got your text.” She replied.  
“Amy, we’re going to have to sail everywhere from now on. I’m never flying ever again.” Ethan told her once she had let them both go.  
“Fuck that, I hate the ocean,” Mark said. He knew it had been a joke, but he was still wary. Amy simply shook her head and ushered them into the back of the car while she got into the driver's seat.  
“You still need to get to New York. I’m having Evan fly you guys there since I don’t trust anyone else right now.” Ethan nodded and glanced at Mark with a worried expression.  
“You’ll both be safe. We know and trust Evan.” Amy seemed to pick up on Ethan’s uncomfortable demeanor.  
“Yeah, we’ll be fine,” Ethan repeated quietly, more to himself than anyone else, before resting his head against the window. Mark leaned his head back, feeling tired after the adrenaline rush. He saw Amy glance at him through the rearview mirror and he gave her a small smile.  
“Thanks for coming to get us,” Mark said and Ethan hummed in agreement.  
“No problem, guys. Now try to relax for a minute, you’ve both been through a lot these past couple of days.”  
Mark almost laughed at the thought of relaxing while in a car, but he tried his best. It was more difficult than normal because they hadn’t hit the road yet and driving offroad was quite bumpy. He didn’t even have to look down when he felt something on his ankle, he knew Ethan had hooked his foot around Mark’s ankle. He looked over and gave Ethan a grateful smile. The brunette returned the smile before closing his eyes.  
Mark turned his head to look out the window, watching trees zip by. The quiet sound of music coming from the radio Amy had turned on, and Ethan’s presence next to him made him feel safer than he had in a long time. Like a miracle- Mark felt his shoulders finally relax and his breathing even out, even with the fact that he was in a car.


	11. Late Night Chats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a chapter with our soft boys :) I wrote this in like an hour bc I had a sudden burst of motivation so if there's any mistakes feel free to let me know.  
> I also finally figured out how to get italics on here lmao

_Water rushed into his lungs forcing him to choke.  
Air. He needed air.  
He felt his head jerked out of the water again. He sputtered, trying to get the oxygen into his lungs, but the water was still occupying them. A violent fit of coughing had him almost vomit.  
“P-please!” He gasped, voice hoarse from the coughing. “I don’t k-”  
He was dunked into the water again.  
Fuck, he was going to die here, wasn’t he?  
He tried to stop struggling, knowing that would take up oxygen that he didn’t even have, but it was hard when he was being slowly drowned.  
The hand on the back of his head yanked him out of the water by his hair again. He was now vaguely aware of a woman’s voice underneath the sound of him battling for his breath.  
“-no we can’t. It isn’t our choice. He’s our best bet at getting information, so quit it and bring him back to the interrogation room.”  
He was still trying to get the water out of his lungs when he was grabbed and dragged back into the dull, gray, dark, room. He was tied to the chair again, even tighter than before somehow.  
“I hope you’re ready for some shock therapy, Mark,” The man said, grabbing some metal tongs.  
“Wh- how do you know my name?” Dread washed over him. If they knew his name, they could find his family and-  
“Mark.” The man said again, stepping closer. “Wake up.”  
“Wake up?” He paused, the pain still overwhelming him to the point where he couldn’t think straight.  
“Mark, wake up.” The man said more urgently. “Wake up!”_

“Mark!”  
Hands were on his shoulders, shaking him. His hands and legs were untied, he knew he could escape now.  
He bolted upright, hitting his head on something. It was dark, so he couldn’t see anything.  
“Ow, fuck.” The voice mumbled as Mark frantically shuffled away, hitting his back on the headboard of the bed.  
_Wait. The bed?_  
Mark let out a sigh of relief as his eyes began adjusting to the dark.  
“Shit, sorry Ethan.” He mumbled, scooting closer to the man who was rubbing his head.  
“S’fine.” He replied lowly. It sounded like he had just woken up.  
“Are you alright? Did something happen?” Mark’s brain was slowly beginning to function properly again. Ethan had woken him up. Something could be wrong. He was panicking again.  
“No, no. Um, you were just- I heard you scream.” The words tumbled out of Ethan’s mouth like he was uncomfortable bringing it up.  
“Oh.” Was all he could say. Fuck- Ethan had heard him from the other room?  
“Yeah, um… Can I ask you what you were dreaming about? It might help to... Y’know. Talk?” Ethan was fiddling with his hands, obviously not sure what to do now that a still-panicked Mark was awake. Mark couldn’t help but give a small smile. It was kind of endearing that Ethan was trying to make him feel better, even though he wasn’t sure what to say.  
“I don’t know. I was just reliving some stuff that happened when they took me. I don’t think you want to hear about it.” Mark leaned against the headboard and cocked his head when Ethan climbed onto the bed to sit cross-legged in front of him.  
“You might not think I want to hear it, but I’ll listen if you want to tell me.” He shifted, resting his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. “When I was a kid and I had a nightmare, my mom would come in and let me tell her about it. It doesn’t even have to be what happened, sometimes just telling someone else how you felt at the time helps.”  
Mark shifted, not even sure where to start. His thoughts had been so jumbled recently, putting those thoughts into words seemed like an impossible task.  
“It’s just-” Mark sighed. “It’s all fucked up- I’m fucked up. I thought I’d feel normal again by now, but these little things send me into this spiral. Like flickering lights and dim rooms and bathtubs full of water. Anytime the sun reflects off of anything metal it reminds me of a knife. And you know anytime I have to get in a car I freak out still. I just feel like I should be okay by now and I’m not.”  
Ethan reached out and gently wrapped his hand around his shaking wrist, but Mark jerked away.  
“And that- you haven’t done anything wrong but anytime something wraps around my wrists I feel like I’m there again.” His breathing had become erratic and his eyes were stinging with tears. What the hell was happening? He hadn’t ever cried about what had happened before.  
“I feel so stupid for being affected by this shit. It’s all harmless and the rational part of myself knows that but I still get scared and I hate being scared. All that’s going to do is get people hurt, people like you. I’m supposed to protect you, but what happens if I freeze because of it? What if you get hurt or worse because I can’t keep my shit together? What if y-”  
“Mark.” Ethan stopped him gently. “Breathe.”  
And Mark sucked in the air that he desperately needed. His mind flashed back to his nightmare for a moment. How did he not notice he hadn’t been breathing?  
“It’s alright. Don’t think about anything for a minute. Just keep breathing.”  
His face was wet with tears and he had half the mind to try and wipe them away with his sleeve. He felt like a little kid, crying about a nightmare but- this wasn’t just a nightmare. He did feel embarrassed about crying in front of someone like Ethan, who probably had a lot more issues to deal with than Mark did.  
“'m sorry.” Mark sniffled and cast his eyes down, focusing on the wrinkles in the sheets.  
“No need to apologize. I was the one that asked you to talk about your feelings and there's nothing to be ashamed of. You can’t rush your recovery process, Mark. It didn’t end when all your broken bones were healed, that was just part of it. It will take a while and maybe you’ll never be okay with flickering lights or baths, but that’s alright. Some things will always be triggers. ” Ethan reached out again and hovered his hand over Mark’s knee, giving a questioning look. Mark nodded and Ethan put his hand on his knee.  
“Also, you haven’t frozen yet and I don’t think you will. Since what happened you’ve saved me a few different times. You got me, the other bosses, and almost all the guests out of Felix’s house before it exploded. Hell, last week you jumped out of a fucking plane for me. I trust you, try to trust yourself a little too.”  
Mark nodded and looked up and Ethan with a tiny smile.  
_He told me once he wasn’t good with words, but how does he always seem to know what to say?_  
He blinked, causing the last few tears to run down his cheeks. Ethan reached up with his other hand and brushed them away before Mark could process what had happened. It was the first time that night he was glad it was still dark in the room, otherwise, Ethan would’ve been able to see the blush spread across his face clear as day.  
“Thank you, Ethan.” He quietly said barely above a whisper. “Even though I was just crying, I do actually feel a little better.”  
And he did. Oddly enough he now just felt tired. All the pent up emotions from the past couple of months had finally come out like a shaken-up soda can. Plus, he always felt a little better when he talked to Ethan.  
“I told ya it would be good for you.” Ethan smiled and rubbed his eyes before shifting and laying down. He had haphazardly laid himself diagonally across the bed so his feet and head were at the wrong ends. His hand still rested on Mark’s knee.  
“You probably want to get rid of me now, but I’m too tired to move so you’re stuck with me for the rest of the night.”  
Mark scoffed and rolled his eyes.  
“Suree. You just want to sleep with me don’t you?” Mark caught himself off-guard with the joking comment.  
“Ah shit, my brilliant plan has been foiled.” Ethan, of course, went along with it and wailed dramatically. Mark gave a soft chuckle and sunk back into the bed, his feet now closer to Ethan’s head.  
“If you kick me, we’re going to have some problems,” Ethan grumbled and swatted at his feet under the covers.  
“Don’t blame me. You’re the one who decided to be upside down.” Mark retorted easily and closed his- now puffy from crying- eyes. He felt the bed shift and then dip beside him and he cracked one eye open again. Ethan was right side up and next to him now.  
“I wasn’t going to risk getting a concussion.” He smiled and got under the covers, stealing a pillow that had wedged itself under Mark’s arm.  
“Heyyy, that was my arm’s pillow,” Mark grumbled sleepily, rolling on his side to face Ethan and opening both eyes.  
“I think it’ll survive without the pillow, Mark.” Ethan laughed, eyes crinkling in a way that made Mark smile.  
“Yeah, well its feelings are hurt now.”  
“Oh my god, just go to sleep, you idiot,” Ethan said between fits of laughter.  
“Alright, fine.” Mark rolled his eyes in mock annoyance.  
“Goodnight, Mark,” Ethan said, his voice muffled a little by the pillow.  
“Goodnight, Ethan,” Mark replied, his heart swelling, making him feel warm and happy.


	12. A Stormy Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about slow updates! I've been super busy with school and work lately. I also got my wisdom teeth out today and my head is a little fuzzy so feel free to tell me if there are any errors I didn't catch.  
> Also don't worry- Mark and Ethan will get together soon :)

Waking up the next morning felt like something out of a movie. Mark shifted, some of his joints popping from not moving. He had slept like a log, waking up in the same position he had fallen asleep in. He stretched out his limbs and let out a deep sigh, finally opening his eyes and taking in the room around him. Morning light gently streamed in through a sliver in the curtains that weren’t completely closed. The whole room glowed with a soft golden color, making Mark feel at peace. A mop of brown hair in his peripherals caught his attention. He glanced over, just now remembering Ethan was in bed with him. He was on his stomach, causing his face to be squished into the pillow. He had his head tilted to the side so he wasn’t completely smothered. Mark winced a little, knowing that he would definitely have a crick in his neck later from that. A small breath escaped Ethan’s lips, which were slightly parted. If he had been awake, Mark would’ve made some kind of joke about him being a mouth breather. He instead smiled, allowing himself to admire the man next to him.  
_Watching him sleep is a little weird, dontcha think?_  
Mark scowled at his own thoughts and looked away from Ethan. Ok, maybe he was being a little weird, but he couldn’t help himself. Being able to wake up next to him was something he had secretly dreamed of, but he had tucked that want away. He knew that dream would never be fulfilled.  
Here he was, however, laying in bed with Ethan next to him. It was so close and yet so far from what he longed for. He wanted to be able to hold him and run his fingers through his messy hair to gently wake him up. He knew it would never happen though. Ethan was a mafia boss and Mark was simply his bodyguard. He didn’t want to put Ethan in any more danger either. The other bosses knew that Ethan was gay, and most of them hated him for it. Especially with Cormac trying to kill him. How much worse would it get if they found out he had a boyfriend? Mark would become a target as well as Ethan, making it even more unsafe to go anywhere. 

A grumble pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked over to see Ethan rolling over onto his back and rubbing his neck.  
“Oww.” He groaned, making Mark let out an amused huff. “Why do I sleep like that if it’s gonna break my neck?”  
Mark didn’t reply, instead looking back up at the white ceiling. Hearing Ethan’s morning voice was doing weird things to his lovesick brain. A light tap on his shoulder had him looking back at Ethan though.  
“Are you alright? When I woke up you were just kind of… staring at the ceiling. You looked upset.” He asked softly. Mark couldn’t help but become a little ridged.  
“Yeah, I’m alright. I was just lost in thought I guess. People always say I look mad when I think too hard about something.” Which was true. His mother used to scold him saying he would get worry lines on his forehead.  
“Well, you looked more sad than angry.” Ethan shrugged as best he could while laying on his side. “It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it.”  
“Maybe later,” Mark said, relieved that Ethan wasn’t going to push it. Of course, he wasn’t actually going to tell him later, but it seemed like the brunette approved of his answer.  
They laid there for a moment, both enjoying the quiet of the morning. Ethan had grabbed his phone from the nightstand, which he had apparently brought with him last night when he checked on Mark. Without a word, he shifted closer to Mark and flipped his phone so he could see the screen. There was a picture of Spencer happily rolling in the grass.  
“Aww.” Mark cooed with a smile. Ethan hummed and scrolled, showing another picture of the little dog.  
“Sometimes the woman who watches him sends me pictures of him.” He explained, a happy grin settling on his face. He pulled his phone away and, without the dog pictures to distract him, Mark realized just how close Ethan was. His heart fluttered, the light coming in through the curtains behind Ethan made him look almost angelic. He was looking at Mark, almost expectantly. Mark wasn’t sure what Ethan was thinking, but his own mind was screaming at him clear as day. His gut twisted with apprehension. It would be so easy just to lean in and press their lips together, or even just to reach out and hold him. However, despite it being a physically easy thing to do, mentally speaking it was a whole nother issue.  
Mark forced himself to look away, blinking probably a few too many times. Ethan rolled over again, creating more space between them. He placed his phone back on the nightstand before stretching lazily.  
“Alright, time to start the day.” He said as if nothing had happened, though nothing really had. It was all just in Mark’s head. The brunette sat up and twisted. Mark cringed when he heard his back pop almost violently.  
“Jeez dude, don’t break your back.”  
Ethan scoffed and climbed out of the bed.  
“Ah, fuck it’s cold.” He hurried out of the room, his arms wrapped around himself. Mark chuckled, getting up as well, and damn- Ethan was right, it was cold. He felt a shiver go down his spine and goosebumps formed on his arms and legs. Crossing the room quickly, he grabbed a hoodie and sweatpants. He changed and brushed his teeth before walking out and into the kitchen, where Ethan already was. Mark hadn’t seen him in anything but formal attire, so it was quite a surprise when Mark was greeted with a sleepy Ethan in sweatpants and a t-shirt. His heart twisted with affection.  
“There should still be bacon and eggs in the fridge in case you wanted to make some. Do you want toast too?” The brunette said, grabbing a piece of bread and putting it in the toaster.  
“Sure, thanks,” Mark replied, sitting at the counter as Ethan stuck another piece of bread in.  
“Could we go out today, please?” He turned to Mark and leaned against the counter. Mark sighed and shook his head. Amy had specifically told them to stay in the apartment until she had deemed it safe. She had pulled Mark aside after and made him promise not to let Ethan persuade him to go out, fixing him with a death-glare in the process.  
“You know I wish we could, but you know what Amy said.” Mark tried to reason as Ethan’s posture slumped. Mark (being the introvert he was) had been enjoying the week in the apartment, content not to be put in more dangerous situations. Ethan on the other hand had been itching to go outside after the first two days.  
“I know.” Ethan huffed and ran a hand through his hair, “let’s just hope Amy doesn’t keep us stuck here for too much longer.”

~~~~~~

It had been another week.  
Ethan had always gotten up before Mark, either to make breakfast or to discuss business with someone over the phone. So, when Mark found himself awake before Ethan that morning he was immediately wary. He could just be getting the sleep that he desperately needed and so Mark decided to leave him alone for a while.  
It was a stormy day. Rain smacked against the windows violently and the dark clouds showed that it wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. Mark walked around to turn on some lamps, bathing the apartment in warm orange light, giving it a cozy feel. He curled himself up on the couch and grabbed a book that he had left on the coffee table the day before.

He was only able to make himself wait 30 minutes. He didn’t want to barge into Ethan’s bedroom, but his gut was twisted with worry. Walking down the hall, he quietly opened Ethan’s door. Immediately, a freezing gust of wind swept through the door, sending a shiver throughout Mark’s body. He swiftly ignored it though and burst into the room.  
The window had been smashed in. Large, dangerous shards of glass littered the floor, and water from the rain was covering the floor. Red against Ethan’s white bed sheets made Mark’s heart stop.  
_Blood._  
There was a trail of it going out the window, most of it mixed with the water pooled on the floor. Mark took a frantic breath in and checked the rest of the room, including the bathroom. His heart uselessly hoping that Ethan had hidden somewhere.  
_Why the fuck didn’t I hear the window smashed in last night?_  
He supposed it was because of all the thunder and lightning last night.  
_Amy. I need to call Amy_  
He ran down the hall and back to his temporary room, grabbing his phone from the nightstand. He punched in Amy’s number and began to pace as it rang.  
“Hel-”  
“He’s gone.” He said, the fear clearly evident in his voice, “He’s gone and I don’t know where- It happened sometime last night but I didn’t hear because of the storm and I d-”  
“Bear!” She shouted through the phone, effectively shutting him up. “Who’s gone?”  
“Blue Eagle.” He replied instantly, a lump forming in his throat.  
“Fuck.” She whispered. “Alright, pull it together ok? You’re not going to be any help if you're panicking, do you understand?”  
“Yes.” He breathed out.  
“So you said he’s gone? Not dead?” She asked.  
“H-he could be dead for all I know, but yeah- he’s gone.” Mark clarified.  
“If it was the Irish they would’ve killed him then and there. Someone took him for information or for ransom, which is good. He’s not dead.” Amy continued. “Was there a note left?”  
“I didn’t see one, but I’ll double-check. I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to do a thorough search.” He admitted and started walking back to the bedroom.  
“Okay, if there is one call me, but if there isn’t just text me. I’m going to gather some people together to help find the son-of-a-bitch who did this.” She sighed, and her voice became softer as she spoke again. “Don’t worry. We’ll get him back.”  
Mark didn’t have time to reply before Amy hung up. He was back in the frigid bedroom. The rain was still coming in through the window, getting Mark wet every time the wind blew. He checked on the bed and the nightstand first, finding nothing. Then, a white envelope on Ethan’s desk caught his eye. ‘Mark’ was written on the front of it.

He scrambled over to the desk and tore it open, frantically unfolding it.

‘Dear, Mark  
By now you know that your boss is gone. We have taken him hostage and are planning on handing him over to Cormac, for a price of course. We are sure that you would like him back unharmed so we have put together a proposition for you.  
We know Ethan has a special key, one that gains the holder of it access to a special shipment that he has yet to sell or trade. Unfortunately, after many attempts to negotiate for it, he has still refused every offer. This was rightfully ours before his father died, but your boss hasn’t upheld his father’s promise to us. Find and bring us the key or else his blood will be on your hands.  
Do not tell anyone else about this letter or we’ll give him to Cormac whether you give us the key or not. We have eyes on you so we’ll know if you do.  
-Your new friend, X.’

Mark’s head began to spin. Everything was happening too fast again.  
They knew his name, they had Ethan, he couldn’t tell Amy, and he didn’t even know what key they were referring to. He wobbled on his feet and sunk down into the desk chair. He had a fairly good guess of who had Ethan. It was a Black Market group that had started in Russian but had quickly gained power in Europe and the United States. They now had control over almost every dark website, allowing them to be extremely dangerous. They were tech-savvy too, which would’ve made it easier for them to find out Mark’s name and where Ethan lived.  
His phone buzzed in his pocket, bringing him out of his thoughts. It was a text.

Amy: Found anything?

Mark’s thumbs hesitated over the keyboard. He contemplated whether there was any casual way to ask Amy if she knew anything about a special key. Another text made his blood run cold. It wasn’t from Amy.

X: Don’t.

He instantly texted Amy back.

Mark: Nope. I’ll let you know if I find anything though

Amy: Ok, stay at the apartment. If they wanted you they would’ve taken you too. It’s  
safer there

Mark rubbed his hands down his face, more stressed than he had ever felt before. He didn’t even know where to start looking for the “special key”. He looked down at his phone, seeing another text.

X: Good. Now hurry up. You have 36 hours left before Cormac comes to get him.

And that was the icing on the cake. He stood and marched down to Ethan’s office. If he left any kind of note about a key, it would surely be in there, right?  
He had 36 hours. 

He wasn’t going to waste a second.


	13. Blue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a lot longer than all my others, so have fun w that

\-----32 hours left----

The apartment was wrecked.  
Mark had searched every nook and cranny for something- anything- that would give him a clue as to where this ‘key’ was. He went through every safe and vault he knew about, even finding a few new ones in the process, but he still found nothing helpful. His mind was fuzzy now, overwhelming desperation taking over most of his senses. He knew he needed a clear head for this, but hysteria was taking over, and it had only been four hours. Mark’s immediate thought had been to go talk to Ethan to help clear his head; that obviously couldn’t happen, though. He couldn’t talk to Amy. He had considered trying to secretly talk to Evan, but that would be too risky as well. He was running out of people he knew he could trust.  
“Ok, ok. Just think, Mark.” He mumbled to himself, heading for the front door- knowing he had to leave the apartment before he went crazy. The once spacious and comforting apartment now made him feel claustrophobic. Where else could he go?

_Headquarters._

Ethan had another office. Maybe he could find something there.  
He managed to compose himself enough that he wouldn’t get any looks on the way out of the lobby. He waved down a cab, having it drop him off at a store a few blocks from Headquarters. He barely remembered the walk there. The rainwater dripping from his hair the only reason he knew he actually had walked. He had made sure to take the back way, hopefully throwing off whoever ‘X’ had following him.

As soon as he entered, familiar blue eyes caught his attention.  
“Bear?” A smile formed on the man’s face. It was Sean. Mark almost wanted to cry seeing him again, especially in the fragile state he was currently in. He knew he could trust him.  
“Jack,” Mark said, keeping his voice neutral. He held his finger to his mouth and tipped his head, indicating for Sean to follow him. Sean complied easily, trailing behind Mark as he hurriedly made his way to the door that would lead to the maze-like hallways. He was glad he had eventually memorized the way to Ethan’s office. The raven-haired man gave a short nod to the men guarding the door and punched in the code.  
The journey there was silent. Mark was still afraid that he was being listened in on through his phone. He had considered tossing it, but he didn’t in case X messaged him.  
After finally making it to Ethan’s office he shut the curtains and locked his and Sean’s phone in a little metal box. It was a soundproof phone box and was supposed to block any signals.  
“Sean, holy shit. You have no idea how happy I am to see you.” Mark finally broke and gave him a quick hug, patting him on the back a few times.  
“I’m glad to see you too, man. What’s going on?” Sean asked when Mark pulled away.  
“The Russian Mafia has Blue Eagle. I have to find some kind of key to a shipment they want or else they’re going to hand him over to the Irish. They’ll kill him, Sean. I can’t ask anyone else for help otherwise they’ll kill him even if I give them the key. I think I can talk to you because I don’t think they know you and I know each other yet. Please, I need your help. I can’t think straight right now.” Mark rambled on. Sean’s eyebrows knitted together with worry.  
“I- I’d love to, but I’m not sure how much help I’ll be. You’re ranked above me, Mark, so if anyone would know something about a key, I’d be you.” He replied gently.  
“I know, I know.” Mark waved him off with his hands, “but I just need someone to talk to, otherwise I feel like my head’s going to explode.”  
Sean nodded slowly.  
“Alright. Do you know anything at all about the shipment or the key?”  
“The shipment was apparently supposed to go to the Russian’s before Blue Eagle’s father died. The boss isn’t giving them the shipment now, though. I don’t know anything else about the key.”  
“Before he died…” Sean mumbled to himself and scratched at his beard, “Let’s start by searching this office. I’m guessing that’s why you came here in the first place.”  
Mark nodded, and they began searching through drawers and the various filing cabinets that lined the walls. 

\----30 hours left----

By the time they were done, the office looked like how Mark had left the apartment.  
They had found out where the actual shipment was. It was at the New York Harbor; supposedly guarded by at least twenty soldiers 24/7, but it was unnecessary information. They needed the key, not directions.  
“You found anything else?” Mark asked, walking back into the office from taking a bathroom break. Sean sighed and shook his head. He was sat down on the floor, papers splayed on the ground around him. Mark slammed the door behind him, panic rising again in full force.  
“Fuck, this is useless.” Mark angrily rammed his fist on the wall, jumping back when a mechanical click sounded from the wall. A small compartment had opened in the wall. Sean jumped up, standing behind Mark as he opened the compartment further. The inside of the box was lined with black velvet, a key-shaped dent sat in the middle.  
“It was here.” Mark whispered, “This had to have been it. Where the hell did it go?”  
“Could it be in Italy?” The man behind him questioned.  
“They wouldn’t just leave it there. Whatever is in that shipment is too special to just leave the key across the ocean.” Mark began to pace the room.

_Why the fuck can’t I think clearly?_

It was like a heavy fog had settled over his head, disorienting him completely. Ethan was going to die if he didn’t get his shit together.  
“You actually care about him, don’t you?” Sean’s questioning words made him freeze.  
“What do you mean?” Mark raised his head to look at him.  
“The boss. You seem really freaked out about this.” His eyes were soft, and he took a step closer to Mark, who instantly stepped back.  
“It’s my job. Of course I care. They’ll kill me if he dies.” He defended, though it was a complete lie.  
He hadn’t thought about his own life once yet.  
“Whatever you say.” Sean simply shook his head with a single shrug of his shoulders.

They stood in silence for a moment, both trying to think of what to do next.  
“If someone has the key, they could’ve gone to the shipment.” Sean offered, raising his eyebrows at Mark.  
“And we know where that is, at least.” Mark finished. His brain was relieved for at least some kind of lead, “Let’s go.”  
“I think I should stay behind. You said someone had eyes on you, so it would be best not to be seen with anyone else. They’ll figure out you told me otherwise.”  
Mark ran a hand through his hair.  
“You’re right. Thank you.” He opened the phone box, tossing Sean’s phone to him and taking his own. They left the office silently and nodded to each other before Mark made his way to the garage. He made a beeline for the first car he saw and hopped in, taking the keys from the dashboard.

As soon as his hands touched the steering wheel, he stopped. 

_A crash erupted from Mark’s right side. The metal being crushed against metal made a horrible screeching noise and suddenly, Mark couldn’t discern left from right or up from down. His head spun, making him want to vomit, and he almost did, but the car abruptly stopped rolling. His vision was hazy, and his ears were ringing.  
~~  
Tears were streaming down his face, and he felt like he was going to vomit. He had half the mind to look at his hand. The knife was still in it, and blood was gushing from the wound. Mark shut his eyes as nausea overtook him again.  
~~  
The burning metal was dragged down his left arm before being pressed down into his thigh. Mark once again cried out in agony. The smell of burnt flesh burned his nose._

Gasping for breath, Mark pulled his hands away from the wheel and opened the car door, almost bolting. Something made him stay in the car, though. He sat there in a cold sweat, whole body shaking. He shut his eyes again, the heels of his palms pressing into them. Stars formed behind his eyes, and he tried to focus on them rather than the thoughts running through his head.  
...Stars…

_“Sometimes when I get anxious, I think about space.” Mark blurted out.  
This caught Ethan’s attention.  
“Space?” He questioned.  
“Yeah, I think about the billions of stars out there and how big other planets are....”  
~  
The sun had completely set and the stars had begun to come out. Ethan suddenly giggled.  
“God, this is so fucking cheesy. Talking about feelings and shit while watching a sunset.”  
~  
Ethan rolled his eyes, and Mark once again found himself looking for a little too long. The cold white light from the moon and stars made his features accentuated. Ethan looked right back at him and smiled. Mark couldn’t help the flutter in his chest, making him feel bubbly and warm.  
They sat until their eyelids felt like led, slowly falling asleep under the stars._

Decidedly focusing on his better memories, Mark started the car and began to drive.  
He drove slower than he ever had in his life, which caused a few people to honk at him, but he was still going. His grip on the wheel had his knuckles turning white, and his left knee bounced nervously the whole time. The rain pounding down on the windshield didn’t help at all. As soon as he reached the harbor, he stumbled out of the car like a drunk man.  
But he made it.  
A small smile tugged at his lips, knowing that Ethan would’ve been proud of him. Winding his way around various large shipping crates, he made a beeline for the back of the harbor.  
It was still raining, making Mark tug his hood over his head. The cotton was practically useless against the rain, but it was better than nothing.

As he rounded a corner, a deep voice shouted at him.  
“Show us your hands!” Mark immediately complied, squinting through the rain to see men surrounding one of the crates, all pointing their guns at him.  
“Who are you, and why are you here?” The same man yelled.  
“I’m B-” Mark started but was cut off by another person who came from the other side of the large crate.  
“Everyone lower your weapons!” They demanded, and they all complied. They walked up to Mark and peered at him.  
“You’re Bear, right? The boss’ bodyguard?” The woman questioned, an eyebrow raised.  
“Yeah.” He quickly replied, hands still up. She was slightly shorter than him, but it didn’t make her any less intimidating.  
“I’m Mika. I’m the Capo assigned with protecting this specific shipment. Why’re you here?” She asked, tone still neutral.  
“Has someone been here recently? With the key?” Mark asked, his hands lowering slowly. He had left his phone in the car, so he wasn’t too worried about mentioning the key. Besides, they only said he couldn’t mention the letter. There was nothing specifically keeping him from mentioning the key.  
“No, why?” Mika narrowed her eyes and glanced around.  
“If someone shows up here with it, within the next 31 hours, you can’t let them in. They stole the key.” Mark told her, making Mika fold her arms across her chest.  
“I’ve just met you, and you’re asking me to go against one of the only rules I’ve been given? If someone has the key, they can take the shipment. Sorry, pal, that’s just how this works.”  
“Listen, I know I’m asking a lot of you, but please just for the next couple hours. I can explain why afterward.” Mark was practically begging already. Mika scoffed and shifted her weight to her heels. She opened her mouth- but was cut off by one of her men.  
“Show us your hands!” They were all looking to the left and Mark’s eyes followed the point of their guns.  
There was someone there with a key in one of their raised hands. Mark couldn’t see their face since they stood in the shadows, but he didn’t need to know who it was.  
They had the key.

He took off, bolting towards the person. They startled when they saw him and scrambled to run away. Mark could faintly hear Mika calling for him, but he ignored her, solely focusing on the person he was now chasing.  
“Stop!” He yelled at them, though they didn’t stop, of course. Luckily, he had always been a fast runner and managed to get close enough to lunge and tackle them.  
He pinned them down, twisting their arm behind their back, and wrestled the key out of their grip.  
It wasn’t the right key.  
It didn’t match the indent in the velvet box.  
“Where did you get this?” Mark demanded, holding up the key.  
“S-someone gave it t-to me.” They wiggled underneath Mark, still trying to get away. Mark twisted their arm further, and they cried out in pain.  
“Who?”  
“I don’t know! They g-gave it to me and t-told me to come here with it.” They finally stopped moving, opting to take a few deep breaths instead.  
“Let’s go.” Mark practically growled, standing up and grabbing the man. He pulled him up by the back of his shirt.  
“Where are we going?” The man whimpered, trying to cower away from Mark. He simply chuckled, no mirth behind it.  
“Don’t worry. We just need to have a little chat.” 

\---24 hours left---

Mark glared at the man through the glass. He was fidgeting in his seat and picking at his nails obviously uncomfortable. Sean stepped up beside Mark.  
“So, nothing?” He questioned, folding his arms over his chest.  
“No,” Mark muttered. All he knew about the man was that someone paid him $2,000 to take the fake key up to the crate. He had gone back to Mika afterward with the key, checking to make sure it actually was a fake- which it was.  
Whoever paid the man knew Mark was going to be there. Why else would they plan something like that? X could’ve done it to taunt him. They did say they had eyes on him after all.  
“Are you sure it’s not in Italy?” Sean questioned again.  
“Jack, stop mentioning Italy.” Mark groaned in frustration. He had asked Mark that same question a few times before already, and it was getting on his nerves.  
“Alright, alright.” He raised his hands up in defeat. Flying all the way to Italy would waste too much time anyway, so why did Sean keep bringing it up? Mark chalked it up to the other man running out of ideas, much like himself.  
“Why don’t you take a crack at talking to him,” Mark suggested, not ignoring how Sean tensed up.  
“I don’t know. If he hasn’t broken after talking to you, I doubt he will for me.” Mark raised an eyebrow at him.  
“C’mon, Jack. You’ve always been the better interrogator.”  
It was true. Back when they worked together and had to get information out of people, he always let Sean do the talking. He was somehow able to lure them into a false sense of comfort, making them spill all their secrets. If that didn’t work, Mark was always backup- threatening to beat the shit out of them if they didn’t say something.  
“I mean- if you want me too,” Sean said after a moment of hesitation. It was strange, Mark had never seen him act like that before. He simply nodded and gestured to the door that would lead him into the interrogation room. Sean walked over and opened the door, sliding into the room.  
The man’s eyes immediately widened and shimmered with something. Sean shot the look down with a pointed glare before Mark could pinpoint what it was. He sat down, his back facing Mark, and folded his hands together on top of the table.  
“We know someone gave you that key. So why won’t you tell us who?” He had lowered his tone so he appeared calmer than he was when he had been speaking to Mark.  
“I told the other guy already that I don’t know his name.” The man replied desperately, “please you gotta believe me.”  
“You don’t know his name…” Sean muttered, “Do you know what he looks like?”  
“I-” He hesitated, glancing at the one-way mirror and then back at Sean. Fear flashed in his eyes when Sean tilted his head to the side, questioningly.  
“They had blonde hair and blue eyes. H-he was taller than me.” He said, not making eye contact and bouncing his knee.  
“Did he have any kind of accent?”  
“Yeah, um, Swedish… I’m pretty sure.” He cautiously looked up at Sean again, who stood to leave.

Mark hurriedly went to the door, locking it just as Sean tried turning the door handle.  
“Bear?” He questioned, knocking on the door, “You locked the door, man.”  
Mark stepped away, looking through the glass again as Sean knocked louder.

This was worse than he thought.

\---20 hours left---

“I need any information you have on Sean McLoughlin.” Mark hissed through his teeth, slamming down a picture of him onto the desk. Amy jumped back slightly, eyes widening.  
“I’ll call you back.” She murmured into her phone before hanging up and glancing at the paper.  
“Can I ask why?” She questioned cautiously, bringing the picture closer for inspection.  
“He’s lied to me and to everyone here for the past 10 years. I need everything you have on him.”  
“You think he’s a mole?”  
“I know he is.” Mark spat, the anxiety he had been feeling before had quickly morphed into rage.  
“And I’m guessing you think he knows where Ethan might be?” She asked, standing to look through a cabinet. Mark nodded.  
He should’ve been able to see it in the way Sean kept trying to get Mark to leave. He kept bringing up Italy and he had been the one who had suggested Mark take a bathroom break when they were looking through Ethan’s office. He could’ve gotten the key when Mark hadn’t been in the room.  
He knew Mark was going to the shipment, so he sent that man with the fake key. That’s why he didn’t want to interrogate him, he was worried he’d be recognized. He was, of course, and forced the man to lie. The man was clearly describing Felix as the one who gave him the fake key, but there was no way that a boss would go out of their way to give instructions face-to-face like that. They always sent someone else. Besides, Mark had saved Felix’s life a while back, he was on his good side and so was Ethan. 

“I’ve got nothing on Sean with me he’s not high profile enough to keep a file on hand. Head down the hall to find Tyler. The fifth door on the left.” Amy said, sliding the photo back over to Mark.  
“Thanks.” He said as he reached out for the paper. Amy grabbed his wrist before he could, however.  
“I know you’re not telling me something, and I don’t appreciate it. Whatever you’re hiding from me better save Blue Eagle, otherwise, I’ll personally make sure your life’s a living hell before I put your head on a pike outside my office. Do you understand?” She stared daggers into his soul, and his breathing hitched for a second. Fuck she was scary.  
“I understand.” He replied, somehow keeping his voice from shaking. She let go of him, and he made his way out of her office as quickly as he could.

He strode down the hall, knocking on Tyler’s door and hearing a quick ‘come in’. The man at the desk was large, with brown curly hair. He looked up from his computer when Mark put the picture of Sean on his desk.  
“I need a file on Sean McLoughlin.”  
Tyler simply nodded and clicked on his keyboard a few times. A printer fired up in the corner of the room.  
“I’ll give you everything on record, but I can’t promise it’ll include everything. It will take some time, but I can do some more digging if you’d like?” Tyler offered while gathering the papers and stacking them neatly on the desk.  
“Yeah, thanks.” Mark nodded, grabbed the papers that were pushed towards him, and left the room.

\---18 hours left---

“Who do you work for?” Mark repeated the question, his knuckles aching and bruised.  
It was worth it after watching Sean turn to the side and spit out blood.  
“You’re just like them.” He chuckled, at Mark’s hand, “I doubt you’ve forgotten what they did to you.”  
Mark didn’t need to look down to know Sean was looking at the jagged scar on his hand.  
“I am not like _them_.” Mark spat, “Unlike them, I have an actual reason to do this. You betrayed us, you betrayed _me_. I worked with you for 10 fucking years, and this is how you repay me?”  
“Just because you think your reason is more righteous, doesn’t make you better than them. Besides, I didn’t ask you to trust me. You were just stupid enough to believe me.”  
Mark swung his fist again and with a sharp crack, blood started rushing from Sean’s nose.  
“Yeah, keep doing that-” He coughed, “I’m sure it’ll work eventually.”  
The blood in Mark’s veins boiled and he was pretty sure he would’ve snapped the other man’s neck if a buzz didn’t sound from his pocket.

?: It’s Ty. I’ve got info on him.  
?: He’s a mole for the Irish Mafia. I’ve got video footage from a back alleyway camera of him handing something over to the Irish consigliere a couple hours ago. Not sure what it was though, the footage is too grainy to make it out.

Mark immediately pinned Sean with a cold look.  
“So, you gave the key to your consigliere?”  
Sean didn’t say anything, but with the way he froze for a second, Mark didn’t need to investigate further. He bolted out of the room, locking it behind him and giving a short nod to the guard next to it.

If the Irish already had the key, that meant everything he had done thus far was all for nothing. His heart pumped quickly, anxiety gripping his chest like a metal cage. He glanced down at his phone again as he got another message.

X: I suppose that’s what you get for cheating.

Mark’s blood ran cold.

X: You really thought there would be no consequences for telling your “friend” Sean about the letter? You had one rule and you broke it. What a fun coincidence that it just happened to be a mole?  
X: Oh, and by the way- Seems like Cormac couldn’t wait to get a bullet through your boss’ head. He came sooner than we anticipated and we are currently bringing your boss to him. Have fun having your “head on a pike”.

Mark barely made it to the bathroom before he threw up in the toilet.  
_This is all my fault. Ethan’s going to die because of me._  
Tears slid down his cheeks and a sob escaped his lips. He didn’t get a moment to himself, however. The bathroom door opened and shoes softly clicked against the tile.  
He clasped a hand over his mouth, trying to muffle himself.

“Mark?”  
Fuck- It was Amy.  
“Tyler told me about Sean. I also know that you’ve been looking for a key?” She asked, walking up to the stall that Mark had locked himself in.  
“I was.” Mark muttered, “It’s gone now though. The Irish have it and Ethan is going to die because I made a stupid decision.”  
“Well,” Amy started, “It would seem you did make a pretty severe lapse in your judgment, but I don’t think it was all for nothing.”  
Mark turned to look at the stall door with a confused look, even though he knew Amy couldn’t see him.  
“You’ve done a lot in the past few hours. Tyler tracked the Irish consigliere back to where Cormac is waiting for Ethan. Then Mika, surprisingly enough, listened to your warning. We have their consigliere. He took the key to the shipment after meeting with his boss and she apprehended him.”  
“You know where they’re taking him?” Mark breathed out, standing up and opening the stall.  
“Yes.” Amy looked him up and down, “I don’t approve of your actions, but I understand why after getting your phone records from Tyler.”  
She hesitated before resting a hand on Mark’s shoulder. She was tense, not used to trying to comfort people. Mark appreciated the effort nonetheless.  
“You did what you thought was best under the circumstances.” She then dropped her hand quickly, “but we can’t waste any more time. We know where he is and I’ve got soldiers ready. Let’s go.”  
Mark nodded and hurriedly followed Amy out of the building. Four cars were lined up outside, all started and ready to go. Amy ushered him into the second car.  
“Now remember, you wait for my command before you do anything. You’ve been through a lot of shit these last few hours and you clearly haven’t slept. Got it?”  
“Got it,” Mark confirmed, buckling his seatbelt, and gripping the grab handle on the car door. Amy glanced over at him but didn’t comment much to Mark’s relief.  
Driving was much worse when Ethan wasn’t there to distract him.

Mark didn’t remember much of the drive there, but he was brought back out of his mind when the car stopped. The tall skyscrapers that were normally towering above him were gone, in the distance now instead. He could still faintly hear the sounds of cars honking and sirens wailing.

They were outside of a large warehouse. A single flickering streetlight sat out front, the only source of light. It was still raining, Mark realized. Not as hard as it had been when Ethan had been taken, though. It had trickled down to more of a drizzle, making the warehouse look much more dreary.  
“We have a car on each side, we’ll close in carefully. Listen for my instructions.” Amy was speaking into her radio as she opened the car door. Mark and the two other men in the front of the car followed her lead. Mark could barely see the other soldiers on the other sides of the building. They blended in with the shadows, their movement being the only thing giving them away. 

Now pressed against the side of the building, Amy peered through a broken window next to him.  
“I’ve got eyes on Blue. There are four others.” She quietly mumbled into the radio and Mark shuffled to the window. It was covered in dust and grime, but he could see through the broken part.  
Mark’s breathing stopped when he finally saw Ethan.

His head was hung low, hands bound behind his back and legs tied together with what looked like a combination of rope and duct tape. A man stood behind him, gripping his forearm tightly. In front stood a woman. She wasn’t facing them, however; instead, she was looking at two other men. One he immediately recognized as Cormac and the other, he guessed was a guard, had a briefcase in his hand.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and he backed away from the window.  
“We have to go in before the exchange actually happens. Once Cormac gets his hands on Blue, he won’t hesitate in killing him right then and there. I know X won’t let him have Blue unless he hands over the money, which he hasn’t yet, judging by the briefcase.” Amy whispered to him before bringing the radio back up to her mouth. “Slate, take out the man holding Blue. Vee, you get the other guy. No one kills X or Cormac, we can’t afford to start a full-on gang war right now. We’re rushing them as soon as we go in. Ready positions. Going in 10.”  
They slinked down their side of the building to where a door was slightly ajar.  
“5…” Amy muttered under her breath, pulling out her gun. Mark quickly followed suit taking his gun out of the holder and bracing himself.  
“3...2...1-” She swung the door open, Mark and the two other men rushing in. Two gunshots sounded immediately. Mark’s eyes were immediately on Ethan, who stumbled and fell when the man who had been holding him went down. They quickly formed a small circle around X and Cormac, both of them raising their hands.

Mark wasted no time in dropping down beside Ethan. His head snapped up to be able to see Mark. A small exhausted smile formed on his face and relief flashed in his eyes.  
Mark, on the other hand, was nowhere near relieved yet. His hairline was caked in blood and when Ethan opened his mouth to speak he began coughing violently instead. Mark turned him on his side as blood began trickling out of his mouth. It was dark red, almost black.

_Internal bleeding._

Amy was next to him now, cutting away the restraints with a knife.  
“We gotta get him out of here immediately.” She told him, “you take him back to Headquarters now, I’ll call ahead for you and have someone waiting to help him. I have to stay back and deal with these two.”  
Mark didn’t have to be told twice. He looped one of his arms under Ethan’s back and the other under his knees, lifting him as quickly and gently as possible.

And that’s how Mark found himself driving for the second time since the car crash. This time he didn’t even think about it. He was too distracted by the sounds of Ethan’s wheezing and coughing fits to second guess himself as he sped down the road.  
“Y-you’re driving.” He faintly heard Ethan choke around the words before coughing again.  
“Ethan, please shut up. You shouldn’t be trying to talk right now. Just focus on breathing.” Mark frantically shushed him and Ethan groaned slightly, his forehead pressed up against the glass.  
After what felt like an eternity, they finally made it to headquarters and, just like Amy said, there was a doctor there waiting. They ushered Mark, who was carrying Ethan again, inside and laid him on a wheeled stretcher. Right before they wheeled him away, Ethan grabbed Mark’s hand and gave a gentle squeeze. Mark almost burst into tears right then and there as his hand slipped away, they had to do surgery to stop the bleeding.

He crumpled down onto the floor, his back pressed against the wall beside the door Ethan was taken through. He took multiple shaky breaths, trying to gain back some kind of control over himself. The past few hours had been nothing but anxious spiraling thoughts and too much new information. He was absolutely exhausted, and yet he still couldn’t rest until he knew Ethan was out of surgery and going to be okay.

His brain was still struggling to understand how Sean could be a mole. He had always seemed like such a sincere person and not once had Mark been suspicious of him in the years he had known him. He had been angry about it earlier, but now he simply felt hurt. He forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat. Mark had trusted him with a lot. He thought they were friends.  
Turns out he was being used.

Mark wasn’t sure how many hours passed, but it was long enough that his limbs started to ache after sitting on the ground. Amy had even come by to check on him and ask about Ethan. She made him promise to text her when he was out of surgery.  
His eyelids were starting to feel like led and he kept rubbing his eyes, forcing himself to stay awake.  
When the door next to him finally opened, the soft bubble of exhaustion around him popped and he was on his feet in an instant.  
“Is he alright? Can I see him?” He asked, the questions stumbling out anxiously. The doctor gave him a soft smile and nodded.  
“He’s alright and awake now. I think he’s asking for you, you’re Mark, right?” They turned and gestured for Mark to follow, not waiting for a response. After walking down a short hall he was shown the room where Ethan was. The doctor said something about checking on him later and left.

“Ethan?” Mark said softly, stepping into the room.  
“Mark.” Ethan’s voice was raspy, but he was speaking without coughing now at least.  
“Holy shit you’re alive.” He couldn’t help but stride over to the bed and wrap his arms gently around the brunette.  
“I’m alive,” Ethan murmured, holding onto Mark. He could hear the smile in his voice and Mark pulled away to see it.  
“This is going to sound corny as all hell but I’m never leaving your side ever again.” This caused Ethan’s smile to widen as he opened his mouth, silently laughing. Mark’s own lips tugged upwards as his shoulders finally relaxed.  
“Well, it’s a good thing I like you then,” Ethan said finally, his hand reaching out for Mark’s, who immediately laced their fingers together.  
“Awe, you like me?” Mark cooed in a joking manner, trying to keep his heart from jumping out of his chest. 

_He meant as a friend, dumbass. Keep it together._

The brunettes eyes softened and he stayed silent for a moment, not bantering back like Mark had anticipated.

“Yeah. More than you think.” Ethan replied quietly as if admitting something.  
“What do you mean?” Mark asked gently leaning forward slightly so Ethan could hear him, and not at all because he just wanted to be closer to him. Definitely not.

Ethan tried to sit up, but took a sharp breath in and winced before relaxing again.  
“C’mere.” He requested, even though Mark thought he was too close already. He felt his face start to heat up and he knew there was no way Ethan could’ve missed it. He obeyed, however, and leaned closer.  
“You might hate me after this, but I almost died so I really don’t care anymore.” He whispered, his eyes not leaving Marks for a second. His free hand reached up and behind Mark’s head, resting on the back of his neck. Mark’s heart was beating irregularly fast, making him just mildly concerned for his own health. It was quickly forgotten when Ethan pulled him closer so their foreheads were touching. He glanced down at Mark’s lips before looking at him again.  
“Can I?” He asked, and the breath was instantly gone from Mark’s lungs. He could only give a short nod in response before Ethan tilted his head up and pressed their lips together and-

_holy shit what the fuck is happening_

The kiss was slow and sweet and everything Mark had dreamed of. His hand found its way to the side of Ethan’s neck, his thumb gently brushing his jawline and ending up at his pulse point. He was admittedly relieved to feel that Ethan’s heart was thrumming a little too quickly as well.  
The other man pulled back, making their noses bump together. He giggled and looked at Mark through his happily crinkled eyes.  
“Was that okay? I wanna make sure you didn’t do it just because you were afraid to say no,” Ethan asked, his voice turning more serious and Mark saw a flash of worry cross his eyes. He shook his head with a smile and leaned back in, giving him a delicate kiss in response, still not sure if he could speak properly. When he pulled away Ethan began to laugh giddily again, making Mark follow suit. Fuck- he could listen to him laugh all day.  
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for that to happen,” Ethan said finally, letting his hand fall from the back of Mark’s neck.  
“Wh-what? How long?” Mark stuttered, utterly baffled. He hadn’t seen any signs before that Ethan could’ve liked him back, had he?  
“You didn’t notice?” It was Ethan’s turn to be surprised now, “I thought I was being painfully obvious. Especially after I got drunk in Sweden.” He finished sheepishly, pulling at a thread on the bedsheets.  
“I just chalked that up to you being drunk.” Mark shrugged, “Lots of people get flirty when they’re drunk.”  
Ethan let out a huff of amusement before muttering under his breath.  
“Maybe around you they do.”  
Mark raised his eyebrows and couldn’t help but smirk, making Ethan roll his eyes.  
“Alright, alright. Apparently, I can’t compliment you, otherwise, I’ll inflate your ego even more. Noted.” He laughed before wincing and laying a hand on his chest. “Fuck. I gotta stop doing that.”  
“Ok, no more jokes.” Mark immediately declared, worried that Ethan was going to mess up his lungs again. A door closing behind him made him turn his head in that direction.  
“I agree, no more jokes.” The doctor glanced down at their hands, which were still intertwined, and smiled. They walked in to stand on the other side of the bed.  
“How’re you feeling?” They asked Ethan as they checked some of the monitors set up around the bed.  
“Fine, other than when I laugh I suppose.” He replied with a grin, glancing at Mark.

They asked Ethan a few other questions and checked the stitches on the side of his ribs as well as the wrap around his head.  
“You’re all good for now. You’ll have to stay here for a few more days so we can monitor you.” Ethan nodded and the doctor left the room again. Mark spotted a guard outside the room, making him feel a little better.  
“You look exhausted,” Ethan commented, brushing some hair out of Marks's eyes, a gesture that shouldn’t have made Mark’s heart melt as much as it did.  
“Wow, thanks.” Mark huffed, pretending to be offended. Ethan didn’t respond, instead opting to tug Mark’s arms towards him.  
“Come here and lay down, this bed is big enough, and I’m tired too.”  
Mark didn’t put up any fight at that request. He kicked off his shoes and curled up next to Ethan, giving him a kiss on the cheek.  
“Sap,” Ethan mumbled and shifted closer to Mark so they were touching.  
“Whatever.” He replied, shutting his eyes with a smile.

He’d never felt happier.


	14. Hot Chocolate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2 soft boys enjoy a non-threatening day for once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is completely self-indulgent bc I just wanted to write about our soft boys. This is a very sappy chapter, enjoy :)
> 
> -Also! Thank you all for the lovely comments on the last chapter. I was very happy to see you liked it. I was worried that Mark and Ethan's ~moment~ wasn't going to be good enough since it wasn't very dramatic, but I figured a bigger moment wouldn't fit their characters very well. So, I'm glad you guys seemed to approve of it lmao

After a few days, Ethan was finally allowed to go back to the apartment.  
Mark had barely remembered to warn Ethan that it was a mess before they had arrived. He grimaced when he opened the door to find it was worse than he remembered.  
“What happened here?” Ethan huffed in amusement, despite knowing already. He shoved a few books out of the way with his feet.  
“Yeah, this would be my fault,” Mark replied with a sigh, closing and locking the door behind them. Ethan’s hand hit the wall a few times before he found the light switch, illuminating the mess even further.  
“Yikes.” He trailed off and turned to Mark, “I say we put on some music and clean this up.”  
“No way, I did this. You don’t have to help.” Mark waved him off and stepped around him, picking up the books he had pushed to the side. The brunette stopped him in his tracks by stepping up to him and taking the books.  
“I’m aware that I don’t _have_ to help, but I want to. Sure, you trashed the place, but you did it trying to save me.” He stood on his tiptoes and gave Mark a peck on the cheek. He blinked softly, looking at Ethan with a dumb, fond smile on his face.  
“Quit looking at me like that, or we won’t get anything done today.” Ethan laughed and walked further into the apartment, placing the books on the nearest bookshelf. He rolled up the sleeves of his hoodie, putting his hands on his hips.  
“Let’s get started, shall we?”  
“We shall.” Mark smiled wryly.

The rest of the day went on calmly, except for when Ethan would suddenly burst into song along with whatever music was playing. It was like he was a single person flash mob, the idea making Mark chuckle. It was always odd seeing Ethan so carefree. Whenever they were around others, he was like a completely different person. If someone had told him after first meeting Ethan that he was the kind of person to dance around his apartment with a rolled-up stack of papers as a microphone, he would’ve called them crazy.  
Mark felt a bit of pride swell in his chest knowing that he was currently the only one who got to see the other man like that.

As the sun started going down, they finally finished cleaning up. Mark went to the kitchen to make hot chocolate, insisting it was deserved after their hard work. Ethan had smiled and said something about going to get something from his room. Despite tidying up the rest of the place, Ethan hadn’t made any move to go to his bedroom until then. As Mark was pouring the milk into the pot on the stove, he could just barely see Ethan down the hall. He was standing completely still in front of his door, hand hovering over the handle. He dropped his hand after a moment and shook his head, turning to head back down the hall. Mark quickly snapped his eyes back to the pot.  
“I couldn’t find it.” Ethan sighed when he came over to sit at the counter.  
“Well, that’s a shame,” Mark replied casually. If he didn’t want to talk about it, he wouldn’t push it.  
It was definitely something he’d have to bring up at some point, though. Not wanting to go into the room you were taken hostage from was totally reasonable, but Mark knew how destructive keeping trauma like that bottled up could be.  
“I’ve gotta meet with Amy and Evan tomorrow. We need to finalize our plans for shutting down Cormac once and for all.” Mark looked over his shoulder as Ethan spoke, he looked incredibly on edge. “He’s gotten away with too much. He started this, and I’m going to finish it.”  
His tone had gone icy cold and his fingers were dug into his scalp, just barely avoiding where he still had a few stitches along his hairline. 

Mark had first been confused as to why they hadn’t just killed Cormac when they had surrounded him after finding Ethan, but when Amy came to check on Ethan she had explained it. Without knowing they had enough support in their decision from at least another Mafia group, it would’ve been a bad idea. The other groups could've turned on Ethan because of it. They all relied on each other for trade and if the Irish Underboss stepped in for Cormac and changed the negotiations for the worse, they’d all blame Ethan. It seemed like plans were about to be made, though.

Mark frowned and grabbed the chocolate from the counter, adding it to the now heated pot of milk.  
“Is anyone backing you up on this?” Mark questioned, turning and leaning back against the counter so he could look at Ethan. His eyes were dull and tired.  
“Felix is definitely on board.” He nodded, “I’m waiting to hear back from the Mexican Mafia. I don’t think they’ll say no after the stunt Cormac pulled at Felix’s party. However, the Russian’s have sided with him despite it. I suppose they’re doing it for money.”  
Mark hummed, acknowledging that he had been listening. The man across the kitchen from him looked worn out just talking about it. He didn’t seem too happy about talking about it, so Mark made a decision.  
“Do you have a favorite movie?”  
Ethan blinked a few times and raised an eyebrow at the change of subject.  
“What?”  
Mark chuckled and nodded his head towards the living room.  
“We can watch a movie there while we have hot chocolate if you’d like. I was wondering if you wanted to pick a movie.”  
Ethan’s eyes brightened a little and he straightened up from his slouched posture.  
“I’d love to. I haven’t had time for a movie in forever.”  
“Go pick one then.” Mark urged him, “I’ll bring these over when I’m done.” He lifted an empty mug and Ethan slid down off the barstool. The soft slide of his socks against the hardwood faded as he made his way to the living room.

Mark took a deep breath, drinking in the cozy atmosphere. Light from some lamps Ethan turned on cascaded into the kitchen. The light under the microwave was the only other thing allowing Mark to see in the quickly darkening apartment. Mark had always preferred lamps over the too-bright overhead fixtures. 

He finished up the hot chocolate and poured it into two mugs, adding marshmallows before turning off the stove and carefully making his way to where Ethan was. He had tucked himself into the corner of the ‘L’ shaped couch with a blanket, something Mark noticed he always did. He claimed it was the best spot on the couch, crossing his heart while telling Mark like doing so would prove his point.  
He held out a mug to Ethan before settling in beside him. The brunette shifted, about to lean on him.  
“Is this okay?” He questioned, looking at Mark with sincerity he’d never seen before.  
“Yeah.” He nodded with a growing smile. Ethan knew Mark was still a little bit weird with being touched, so he always asked beforehand. Mark was extremely grateful for it.

They both got comfortable before Ethan brought his own mug up to take a sip.  
“Hold on there.” Mark chuckled, putting his hand on Ethan’s and lowering the drink, “You’re going to burn your tongue off. Patience is a virtue and whatnot.”  
“Fuck patience,” Ethan grumbled a little, but he still heeded Mark's warning and set the mug on the coffee table to cool for a bit. He grabbed the remote that had been sitting there as well.  
“Elf?” Mark questioned, finally looking at the TV to see the movie.  
“Yeah, I haven’t really celebrated Christmas in a while. It’s December, so I figured a Christmas movie would be good.”  
“I haven’t either, good choice.” He gave him a kiss on the forehead and Ethan hummed happily. Mark fixed his gaze back to the TV as Ethan pressed a button on the remote to start it.  
He also grabbed his drink again, which was sitting next to Mark’s, cautiously drinking it to his mouth to take a small sip.  
“Have your taste buds been singed off?” Mark asked with a smile when he winced, glancing at him from the corner of his eye.  
“Probably.” Ethan grabbed the marshmallows floating on top, opting to eat those instead of burning his tongue further. He set the mug back on the table and leaned his head on Mark’s shoulder. His soft hair tickled Mark’s cheek, and the warmth radiating from him made Mark sleepy.  
“Thank you,” Ethan said, his voice low as to not speak over the movie.  
“For what?” Mark inquired, not quite sure what he was referring to.  
“The hot chocolate and for... I dunno- just being here.” Ethan shrugged, “I mean. I know being here is your job so I guess I’m not really sure _why_ I’m thanking you for something I’m making you do, b-”  
“Hold on,” Mark stopped him gently, and Ethan lifted his head from his shoulder, “Do you really think I’m here just because I have to be?”  
“I- well, kind of? I don’t know. Sorry, I was just rambling again. Just forget I said anything.” Ethan stumbled over the words before giving an uncomfortable chuckle at the end, picking at his fingernails.  
Like Mark would just ignore something like that.

“I’m here because I want to,” Mark said, ducking his head, trying to get Ethan to look at him. “I like being with you, Ethan. I’ve genuinely never felt so happy about being around someone. Ever since I started this job I knew I wanted to be closer to you. Hell- I couldn’t seem to stop thinking about you after the first week. You’re the most intriguing, intelligent, and charming person I’ve ever met. I’m still surprised you like me as much as I do you. Not to mention you’re also really fucking attractive.” Mark added with a small huff of laughter. “I don’t know why your brain is telling you that I don’t want to be here, but I do- wholeheartedly.” He finished, tense and hoping that he had said the right things. 

Ethan finally looked up at him with a watery smile, taking his face into his hands and kissing him. Mark melted into it with a smile. They hadn’t actually kissed after the first one a few days ago, opting for kisses on the cheek and forehead instead. Both of them mutually decided to take it slow. Everything else in their life was too fast-paced- they didn’t want to rush this.  
This time, Ethan tasted like marshmallows with just a hint of chocolate. It was also a little bit more desperate on Ethan’s part, like kissing Mark would take his insecurities away. After a moment, Mark took the lead, cupping the back of the other man’s head with one hand and the other on his waist. He wanted to make sure Ethan knew he meant what he had said.

Eventually, they pulled away, both taking deep breaths. Ethan was looking at him so lovingly Mark was sure he was dreaming. He even contemplated pinching himself for a moment.  
“I don’t deserve you,” Ethan murmured into the space between them.  
“You’re right, you deserve much better.” Mark easily replied, brushing the hair that had fallen into Ethan’s eyes away.  
“You know that’s not what I meant, you idiot.” He rolled his eyes playfully.  
Mark beamed, deciding to ignore that Ethan had called him an idiot in favor of kissing him again.

“Alright, alright,” Ethan said when he gently pulled away. “Enough of that, we’ve missed the beginning of the movie.”  
Mark blinked a few times in mock offense.  
“You’re picking watching a movie over making-out with me?”  
“Not only that but drinking hot chocolate too. There’s no way it’s too hot to drink now.” Ethan teased, leaning around Mark (who had shifted in front of him while they kissed), to pick up his drink and take a sip.  
“Perfect temperature.” Ethan hummed happily, while Mark sat still feigning offense.  
“What? Did I do something?” Ethan asked innocently, looking at Mark again. They sat in silence for a second before Mark cracked a smile, and they both started laughing.

They both got situated into their original sitting positions, Mark wrapping an arm around Ethan’s shoulders.  
“Seriously though, I meant what I said.” Mark restated as Ethan restarted the movie.  
“I know, thank you.” He rested his head on Mark’s shoulder with a pleased sigh, relaxing against him.

Mark half focused on the movie, mainly content to see and listen to Ethan's reactions or comments during it. He honestly wasn’t surprised to find that Ethan was a talker during movies.  
He would’ve been annoyed usually, but since it was Ethan he didn’t mind. He had never felt so enamored with a person before. Sure, he had a girlfriend when he was in high school (before his life turned upside down), but his feelings for Ethan were much more intense. He wasn’t lying when he had told Ethan he wanted to be around. There was this strange almost magnetic pull towards the other man that baffled Mark. 

He zoned back in about half-way through the movie when Ethan laughed at something that had happened. Having finished his drink, he now had his arms wrapped around Mark’s middle- getting as close as possible. Mark couldn’t help but press a kiss to the top of his head.  
“Sofie.” Ethan quickly teased.  
“Shut up.”


	15. Cold Shoulder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kind of another filler chapter- the pace will pick up again next chapter I promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about not updating for a while! I have been trying to plan out these next few chapters as this story is coming to a close. Plus my anxiety has gotten worse this month- so doing anything has been difficult. Anyway- I hope you enjoy :)

Mark would’ve liked for Ethan to take a nice long break after being abducted, but it was all hands on deck the day after getting back to the apartment. In fact, he hadn’t gone back home in almost two weeks. He spent his nights in his office and days in meetings, planning his revenge. Mark had insisted he go back home to at least get one good night of sleep, but he had immediately shot down his suggestion with a wave of his hand and a shake of the head. Amy had even tried to reason with him.  
“Ethan, you’re going to drop dead if you don’t get some rest soon.” She had said with a stern look and folded arms.  
“I’m fine. Just need some coffee.” He had dismissed, not to Mark’s surprise.

Mark had seen him asleep a few times, but that was with his head in his folded arms on his office desk. The naps never lasted long either. He had thought Ethan looked tired when they had first met, but this was much worse. He was like a walking zombie most of the time. It was a miracle that he had been able to coordinate and engage in as many meetings as he had. Mark had been allowed in the meetings with the Mexican underboss and Felix, now that he trusted him, and he was always amazed that he was able to scrape together enough energy to seem like he hadn’t been pulling all-nighters for almost two weeks straight. Sure, Mark could see through his facade, but to an outsider, he would seem completely fine.

They did have the upper hand for once, which was a huge relief to everyone. They still had the Irish consigliere, Eirnin, who was just about the only person they knew Cormac would care enough about to try and get him back. Mark had heard the basics of the plan, like that it would be presented to Cormac as a simple exchange: the drugs he had stolen from one of Ethan’s shipments a while back for Eirnin. When Ethan had told him where it was going to happen, however, he had to do a double-take.  
“A restaurant?” Mark repeated, watching Ethan’s face intently for any sign that he was joking.  
“Yes. I know a nice place that’s easy to bribe. The restaurant will be full of my men ready to make a move if he tries anything, which I know he won't. The police have a picture of him on record, it would be too risky for him to make a scene. It’ll be easy once we get him there.”  
“What about the workers? I know you said you’ll bribe them, but I feel like they might snitch to the cops if they see you kill Cormac.” Mark worriedly shifted his weight between his feet.  
“That’s why there’ll be Gamma Hydroxybutyrate, or GHB, in his whiskey. I know Cormac. He won't be able to resist the chance to sit down, drink some whiskey, and insult me. He’ll pass out, we bring him back here, then I kill him. As a precaution, I’ll have the workers watched for at least a month after. If they even show the slightest sign that they’re going to the cops, I’ll have them killed too.” He frowned a little when Mark didn’t stop his nervous fidgeting. “Just trust me on this, okay?”  
Mark sighed and held out his hand, which Ethan quickly took seeing as though they were alone in his office.  
“I trust you,” Mark said finally after focusing on their linked hands for a moment.  
“Good, because I don’t think you could’ve talked me out of this anyway.” Ethan gave a tired smile, giving Mark’s hand a gentle squeeze and running his thumb over the jagged scar there.  
“I don’t know… I can be pretty persuasive.” Mark replied with a mischievous smirk, causing Ethan to roll his eyes.  
“Oh yeah? How would you have persuaded me?” He played along anyway, stepping closer to Mark and resting his arms on his shoulders, hands clasped behind his neck. Mark put his hands on his hips and pulled him so they were flush against each other.  
Mark leaned in and pressed their lips together. Mark made sure they kept their pace relatively slow. He knew Ethan was still exhausted and running purely on crappy coffee and whatever energy drinks he could get his hands on. Ethan was lazily running his hands through Mark’s hair as they kissed, eliciting a happy hum from Mark. He could feel Ethan smile at the sound, making Mark want to make some kind of retort, but he didn’t have the willpower to pull himself away.

A knock at the door had them jumping away from each other anyway.  
Ethan quickly fixed Mark’s hair with a sheepish smile before opening the door. It was Amy. She looked between the two men for a second before she smirked. She crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against the doorway.  
“Alright if you two are spending time making out you might as well head back to the apartment.”  
“Wha-” Ethan started, but she held up her finger.  
“You two are way too obvious. Anyway, I think it’s about time you got some sleep, Ethan.”  
“But-”  
“I don’t want to hear it. We’ve already made all the arrangements necessary to get rid of that Irish piece of shit for good, so now you need rest. We can’t pull this off if you’re barely conscious. Go home.” She gestured out the door with a raised eyebrow, like she was challenging him to try and fight her about it. Instead, he huffed and hung his head a little.  
“Fine.” He grumbled but broke out into a yawn. He gave her an embarrassed smile and picked up the bag Mark had brought after the first couple days of Ethan refusing to go home. It contained some basic things like some more comfortable clothes in case he finally decided to sleep, and a toothbrush and toothpaste. With his free hand, he grabbed Mark’s forearm, tugging him out the door.  
“You better make sure he gets some sleep.” She told Mark with a pointed look as he passed by.  
“I will.” He smiled and followed Ethan, not that he had much of a choice with the other man pulling him along by his arm.

“She won’t tell anyone, right?” Mark asked cautiously as Ethan let go of his arm in case someone saw them.  
“Nope. She knows how much shit I’ve had to deal with just because of my sexuality. She won’t tell anyone about us unless I tell her to.” Ethan glanced over with a sad smile. “I really wish it didn’t have to be like this though.”  
“Me too.” Mark huffed in response.  
“It’s times like these where I wish I could just be...normal? I suppose that’s the right word. We could just be Mark and Ethan. Not the Italian Mafia Boss and his bodyguard. Maybe I’d actually have some friends… people who don’t judge me based on who I like.”  
“That would be really nice.” Mark hummed. “We can’t really focus on that right now though. This is the life we were given. There’s nothing we can do to change it… Think of it this way- we would have never met if you weren’t the Italian Mafia Boss and I hadn’t become a hitman. Maybe we didn’t want the positions forced on us, but it led us to each other. And right now- I think that’s worth it.”  
Mark watched happily as Ethan’s face flushed a nice pink color. He hadn’t really seen Ethan so bashful before.  
“I think it’s worth it too.” He replied kindly, fiddling with his hands. “I still can’t help but think that maybe I could come up with-” He cut himself off, glancing around the hall before leaning closer to Mark, “with a plan to get out of here, for good.”  
Mark felt like his eyes had just popped out of his head. He had never heard of a boss trying to leave.  
“How would you even..” He trailed off, at a loss for words.  
“I’m not sure yet. I haven’t really let myself think about it too much, especially with everything going on with Cormac. I wouldn’t feel safe trying to leave while he’s still after me.” He explained in a hushed whisper. Mark let himself fall back so he was just a step behind Ethan as they walked out the door and into the main area of headquarters.

To say Mark was surprised by Ethan’s statement about wanting to leave would be an understatement. He knew Ethan hadn’t really been happy in his position, but he never thought he’d go as far as to try and leave. 

_What will you do if he leaves?_

The thought had him falter a step, before quickly regaining his composure. He didn’t have the resources Ethan did to just leave as well. Plus, it would be dangerous for them to keep in touch afterward in case that led to someone finding the other man.  
As if Ethan could hear his thoughts, he piped up.  
“You could come with me if you’d want to.” He said, keeping his eyes forward and expression guarded as a group of soldiers, all giving him a short respectful greeting, walked by.

“We could both get out together.” Ethan finished once no one was in earshot of them.  
“Really? I mean- I don’t want to make things more difficult for you. Both of us leaving at the same time would be suspicious, and other gangs would come looking for us.”  
“Leaving you is the last thing I’d want to do.” Ethan replied almost instantly, still looking straight ahead as they walked, “If I ever come up with a solid plan, we can talk more about this.”  
“Okay…” Mark hesitated. He could just drop it, but his brain was incessantly nagging at him to ask the question. “I just can’t help but worry. I didn’t want to bring this up- but didn’t your mother try the same thing?”

They were approaching the car now, the window of time for them to speak was coming to a close as Mark saw their driver in the car already. Ethan stopped abruptly, causing Mark to falter as well. He inwardly grimaced, regretting bringing it up. Ethan took a sharp inward breath before speaking again.

“Whatever rumors you have heard about my mother are wrong. Her death wasn’t her fault. She wasn’t leaving.”  
Mark would’ve preferred anger to the monotone words. Guilt settled in his stomach as Ethan began walking again. It was only a few more steps before they reached the car and Mark quickly reached out to open the door for him. He was able to catch a glimpse of his face as he climbed into the car. Mark knew Ethan became closed off when he was upset, so his steeled expression wasn’t a surprise.

Mark got in after Ethan and they drove away. Ethan was making a point not to look at Mark, which he couldn’t really blame him for. Mark knew that he just needed a little time. Obviously, the death of his mother wasn’t as straightforward as he had previously thought. His mother wasn’t trying to leave, so why and how did she die? One of the other Mafia groups could’ve gotten to her, Mark supposed. However, if that had happened he felt as though Ethan would’ve gone after them as revenge.  
And as far as Mark knew, Ethan hadn’t done so yet. 

A pothole jolted the car and Mark almost instantly felt Ethan’s knee bump against his before staying there. It was a comforting gesture, but Mark couldn’t help but feel uneasiness wash over him- they weren’t exactly alone at the moment. He looked up at the driver quickly, his anxieties eased seeing that he wasn’t looking back at them. The car was small too, to blend in more, so having their knees pressed together wouldn’t raise any suspicion. 

He took a breath and finally turned his head to Ethan. His gaze was still pointedly fixed out the window, but he knew Ethan wasn’t really mad at him anymore. His need to comfort Mark seemed to outweigh it pretty quickly. Warmth spread through Mark’s chest and he couldn’t keep a small smile from creeping onto his face.

The car ride was silent the whole way back. Mark and Ethan both nodded to the guard standing outside Ethan’s apartment door as they entered. Ever since Ethan had been taken in the middle of the night, there had been a guard outside the door. Others were also positioned to keep an eye on the outside of the apartment, making sure no one came in through the window again. 

As soon as they were inside, Ethan made his way to the bathroom with the bag still in his hand. Mark frowned a little as he watched him pad across the apartment without a word. He felt bad for feeling upset about the cold shoulder, but it was hard to reason with his emotions. On one hand- it was probably a bad idea to bring up his mother, but on the other- there had been no ill intent behind the question. He was simply trying to look after him. 

Mark left out a huff and ran his hand through his hair, the thought of getting a haircut at some point crossing his mind for a moment. He walked to his room, ready to change into something that was more comfortable than a button-up and dress pants. 

_Why won’t he just talk to me?_

He pulled out a t-shirt and sweatpants, trying to ignore the unsettled feeling. He had never been the type to beat around the bush, opting to get straight to the point whenever a conflict arose. Apparently, Ethan was the opposite, though he supposed he knew that already. It had happened before- multiple times, in fact. He wasn’t sure why it was bothering him so much more now, though. 

_Maybe it’s because things are a little different now._

He and Ethan _were_ kind of together now, meaning they should learn how to communicate through more difficult topics without shutting the other out. Mark shook his head.

_Are we even ‘together’?_

They still hadn’t really discussed what they were exactly. Mark hadn’t even really thought about it until then. 

A growl from his stomach had him finish changing and heading into the kitchen. He saw Ethan there- probably as hungry as Mark was- grabbing a pack of pop tarts and eating them straight from the packet. He was wearing the clothes Mark had packed for him in the bag. He furrowed his eyebrows, not sure why Ethan hadn’t just gotten some from his dresser. He quickly shrugged it off, however, it wasn’t exactly the most pressing issue. He walked up, making sure Ethan could hear him coming so as to not startle him.  
Assuming Ethan was going to continue to ignore him, he spoke first.  
“Ethan, I know you’re upset at me. I didn’t mean for my question to hurt you like that, I asked it because I want to keep you safe.” Ethan looked up at him from the half-eaten pop that he was holding, his eyes were watery, “I have a hard time when people give me the cold shoulder, Ethan. And it’s totally fine if you need some time alone, but if we could talk it out I think things would get worked out faster.”

Mark could practically see the gears turning in Ethan’s head as he decided what to say- or maybe whether to speak at all. He finally let out a sigh and pressed his palms against the cold countertop.  
“I’m sorry.” He breathed out, “I’m just not used to having to work through things with people I guess. They’ve never stuck around long enough. You really don’t have to apologize, it’s not like you could’ve known about my mother.”

Mark waited a moment for him to elaborate, maybe explain what actually did happen to her, but it seemed like it was still too soon for him to share. He stepped closer to Ethan and wrapped him in a hug, which he felt the other man melt into with a tired sigh.  
“You need to get some rest,” Mark said quietly, pressing his nose into his hair and enjoying the feeling of safety that came with being so close to Ethan.  
“I know.” He replied, but still made no move to step away from Mark to go to sleep. Mark smiled and started shuffling backward, tugging Ethan along with him. He finally let go, holding onto Mark’s hand instead. He started down the hall to Ethan’s room, until he was pulled to a stop. Ethan stood behind him with wide eyes, staring at his bedroom door.  
“I- uhm…” He stuttered, and Mark walked up to him, concerned about his fearful expression, “I don’t really want to go back in there yet.”  
Realization washed over Mark like a tidal wave.  
“Oh, fuck. Sorry.” He guided him back a little and opened his bedroom door, “You can sleep in here, as long as you don’t mind sharing a room with me.”  
Ethan gave him a small relieved smile and shuffled into the room, climbing into the bed.  
“Thanks.” He said quietly as Mark sat down next to him on the edge of the bed.  
“No problem, Eth.” Mark pressed a lingering kiss to his temple, “Now get some sleep, I’ll join you once I get some food.”  
Ethan simply hummed in response, shifting to get comfortable as Mark walked out. He left the door slightly ajar, knowing he’d be back in just a moment.

He ended up eating a protein bar, wanting to get back to Ethan as soon as he could to feel that same tranquility he always had around him. 

He climbed into bed carefully, not wanting to wake Ethan who had practically fallen asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow.  
Mark drifted off almost instantly as well, with the comforting warmth of Ethan nestled in beside him.


	16. Wine and Whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a doozy  
> TW: A couple people die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O_O

“Are you sure about this?” Mark tucked a gun into his holster, hidden by his suit jacket. He glanced up after a moment of silence to see Ethan fixing him with an unamused glare. To be fair, it was deserved since Mark had asked that exact same question about a million times in just the past couple of hours. 

He raised his hands in surrender and Ethan turned back around, speaking to Evan now.  
“They’re all in position?” He questioned, grabbing a gun of his own off the table. Evan gave a curt nod. “Great. Let’s get this over with.”

“I know you’re not really sure about this plan, but you have to listen to my orders.” Ethan said, walking out the door and gesturing for Mark to follow, “You’ll be at the table with someone else, closest to where Cormac and I will be. I’m betting that he’ll have soldiers outside, ready to come in if he sends a signal through his phone. If he feels even slightly unsafe, he won’t hesitate to bring them in. Even though I know he doesn’t want to make a scene while he’s there, he’d much rather have to deal with the police than die. The GHB in the whisky should take about five minutes until it affects him, so be ready. If he feels unwell, he’ll send the signal. I need you to grab his phone from him if he reaches for it since you’ll be the closest to him. By then the drugs will have kicked in enough for him not to pull a gun on me.”

Ethan dug an earpiece out of his pocket and handed it to Mark. It was tan and extremely small- undetectable when he put it in his ear. A faint beep sounded from it, signaling that it was on.

“Tyler will warn you when it’s been about four minutes, so you’ll be ready. We’ll go out the back with Cormac, and by then our men should’ve cleared out any of his in that area. Felix has lent us the help of his best sniper as well, so if anything unexpected happens we’ll have at least a little extra backup.”

Mark nodded, processing through all the new information.

“If everything gets super fucked up, we kill Cormac and run. I know I didn’t want to create a scene, but if he causes one I’m not just going to let him go.”  
Ethan glanced over at Mark, and a shiver went down his spine. His gaze was ice cold and it held a hatred that Mark had never seen before.  
“Today is the day he dies.”  
“Good, cause I’m sick and tired of him.” Mark agreed, glancing down at the scar on his hand. He saw Ethan follow his line of sight from the corner of his eye. The brunette’s jaw clenched and he practically snarled.  
“He’s gonna fucking pay.” 

~~~~~~~~~

Not staying by Ethan’s side was nerve-wracking. So many worst-case-scenarios were flying through Mark's head. So many things could go wrong. All included Ethan dying. 

He glanced over his shoulder and across the other table to where Ethan was sitting. He gave a tight smile, clearly trying to ease Mark’s nerves, but he was fidgeting anxiously with a ring on his index finger. Mark turned back around, and quickly did a scan of the restaurant. Large, elegant chandeliers hung from the high ceilings. The tables were simple, round with an expensive white tablecloth draped over them. Adorned with too much silverware for Mark's liking. He still didn't understand the need for three spoons, four forks, and three knifes. Almost all the tables in the restaurant were filled, the few empty ones wouldn’t be for long. A few others were coming in later since having a full restaurant the whole time would be suspicious as well. He almost laughed as he started listening to individual conversations. They were so normal. Things like school, kids, work, and sports. Most of them had planned conversations- so Cormac wouldn’t be suspicious- although he didn’t doubt that some of these people actually knew each other. 

A woman was sitting across from him. Curly black hair framed her face nicely and the yellow dress complimented her dark skin. He hadn’t spoken to her yet, but she didn’t seem to take it personally. She was shuffling through something in her purse, and he caught sight of the pistol in it. She paused and looked up when she noticed him looking at her. Setting her bag at her feet, she folded her hands on top of the table.  
“So, you’re Bear, huh?” She gave a smile and tipped her head to the side. Mark hummed in confirmation, glancing at the front door. Cormac should be there soon.  
“You’re California?” Mark inquired back.  
“Yeah, but you can just call me Cali. My code name is too fucking long.” She huffed and the corner of Mark’s mouth quirked up in a half-smile.  
He barely stopped himself from startling when a waiter appeared at their table.  
“What can I get you two to drink?”

_Right… This is just a “normal” dinner._

“Just water is fine,” Cali replied easily, sending the waiter a polite smile.  
“I’ll have water too.” Mark followed her lead, giving a close-mouthed smile.  
His eyes darted to the door when it opened.  
There stood Cormac, dressed to the nines with the same sinister glint in his eyes. He scanned over the restaurant before a server came up to him. Mark looked away as he was guided to Ethan’s table.

“I mean, I don’t know why he would do that.” Cali started, rolling her eyes, “I’ve worked there for 5 years- and I still have yet to get any type of promotion.”  
Mark shook his head sympathetically.  
“That’s awful. I didn’t think he would actually do that.”

Cormac sat down in the chair and Mark could hear their cold greetings.

“Mr. Mills has got to be the worst boss ever. I haven’t even gotten a raise. After all my hard work I think I deserve some type of recognition.” She continued, frustration evident in her voice. At any other time, Mark would’ve complimented her acting abilities.  
Now was definitely not the time though. 

“Why don’t you just quit?” He leaned forward a little, an eyebrow raised. “I know you said a while ago you didn’t want to, but it might be best for you.”

Mark heard Ethan order a glass of wine for himself and ask Cormac if he wanted whiskey. He almost smiled when Cormac said yes. The first part of the plan was in motion.

“I honestly might. I just don’t want to have to start all over somewhere else.”

They both paused when the waiter came over with their drinks. After ordering the first thing Mark saw on the menu, they continued. Their conversation was pretty generic. It was easy to remember but detailed enough that it would seem real to Cormac. Especially since they were one of the closest tables to him.

By the time the food was set down in front of him, Tyler’s voice crackled through the earpiece.  
“It’s been four minutes. Get ready.”  
Those six words quickly put Mark on edge- well, more than he already was. Cali seemed to have noticed because she went off script, rambling on more than she was supposed to. Mark would have to remember to thank her for thinking quick on her feet for him. It allowed Mark to focus more of his attention on Cormac and Ethan.

“I don’t understand. This is a simple exchange,” Cormac growled, Ethan was clearly annoying him on purpose.  
“Yes, it was, but you have some other things I want.” He replied and Mark was glad to hear that Ethan was currently in control of the situation.  
Mark glanced over discretely when he heard Cormac’s suit jacket shuffle- he was now reaching into his pocket, and pulling his phone out.

Mark shot his arm out and grasped his wrist. It didn’t take much for him to drop the phone from his grip, indicating that the drug was working.  
“Wha- What is this?” Cormac struggled through the words and slumped back in his chair. Ethan smirked and tipped his head to the side.  
“Karma.” He replied simply, standing from his seat.

Mark froze when Cormac started laughing. Ethan frowned and furrowed his eyebrows.  
In the blink of an eye, Cormac was up and behind Ethan, his gun pressed up against the side of Ethan’s head. Mark raised his gun.  
“If you shoot I’ll blow his brains out.”  
Mark and everyone else in the restaurant went deadly still. The chatter was instantly silenced and Mark could only hear his own blood rushing through his ears. All the guns were pointed at him and Ethan.  
“You won’t get Eirnin back like that,” Mark said cautiously. He couldn’t shoot his way out of this one, so he’d have to talk.  
“Actually I think I will. As your boss said just a moment ago, this is karma. You all really thought I was stupid enough to come in here and have a drink with someone I know wants me dead. I prefer my whisky without anesthetic drugs.” He hissed, glaring at Mark in particular. “Unfortunately for you all, I did a little bribing of my own.”

With that, someone dropped to the floor in the far left of the restaurant. A few people gasped before more thuds against the wooden floor echoed through the otherwise silent room. Mark winced as Cali groaned and collapsed beside him. Mark relaxed slightly when he realized he hadn’t taken a sip of his drink.  
“Of course you’re still standing.” Cormac sneered, pressing the gun to Ethan’s head harder. The rattle of the gun had Mark’s heart in his throat, “It doesn’t matter too much to me though, you’ll be dead in a moment anyway.”

The front door opened behind Mark and he heard footsteps rush in. A gunshot caused him to gasp. He glanced down- assuming he had been shot- but he didn’t see any blood.

_What the fuck?_

“Why did you do that?! He wasn’t yours to kill!” The angry shout from Cormac caught his attention. He suddenly regretted looking up after seeing the scene in front of him. Ethan fell to his knees with blood drenching the front of the white button-up and coming through the suit jacket on top. Mark’s brain short-circuited.

_I didn’t even get to tell him I love him._

The thought kick-started him into action. He fired his gun at Cormac, hitting him between the eyes despite having tunnel vision. He spun to try and kill whoever had shot Ethan, but he couldn’t tell who had done it as more soldiers rushed in. Bullets whizzed by his head and he fired into the group of people, stumbling back towards where Ethan had collapsed behind the table.

“Don’t worry. Backup is coming in now.” Mark almost didn’t register Tyler’s voice in his ear as he crumpled down to the ground beside Ethan. The gunshots and shouting were ignored. All he could see was blood- he was completely covered. Tears sprung to his eyes and he suddenly couldn’t breathe.  
“Ethan?” He whispered and his voice cracked painfully, “Ethan you gotta get up.”  
Ethan didn’t so much as twitch. A sob shook Mark violently.  
“Please. Oh my god- you can’t be dead.”  
He reached a hand out, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.  
“C’mon, Bear we gotta go. The cops are coming.” Mark now just noticed the gunshots had dwindled down and multiple sirens were quickly growing louder.  
“I- I can’t just leave him.”  
“You have to, now let’s go.” The voice was firm and they grabbed his arm, trying to tug Mark away.  
“No! I’m not leaving him.” Another pair of hands grabbed his other arm and the two men started dragging him away.  
“What the fuck are you doing?! Let go of me!”  
“Bear, you have to leave.” Tyler’s voice came through again.  
“But, we can’t leave him there.” Mark tried arguing when the two men’s grip on him didn’t loosen even as he thrashed around. He tried grabbing onto the door frame as they took him out the backdoor. They both groaned in frustration.  
“Bear, let go.” A familiar voice was suddenly beside him. Amy sighed, she looked tired.  
“Not you too,” Mark whispered, pleading to her with his eyes.  
“The cops are coming. We have to leave now.”  
He refused to let go for a few more moments, a mental battle going on in his head.  
He finally gave up, exhaustion weakening his resolve. Amy shut the door and he jogged behind her as she guided them through back alleys.

Mark might as well have been shot in that restaurant instead. He felt numb and lifeless as he blindly followed along. Amy glanced back at him, a sympathetic expression on her face. She was the only one in the group that knew why Mark was so upset.

“You’ll be alright,” Amy said gently over her shoulder. The words did nothing to heal his heart that felt like it had been completely obliterated- smashed into tiny fragments that no amount of glue could ever put back together. A cold, dead weight settled where it once was.  
He barely even noticed the cold biting at his skin. His breath came out in uneven cloudy puffs and he tried to focus on that, rather than the image of Ethan’s dead body that was burned into his brain. Mark choked down another sob.  
How was he ever going to be okay after this?


	17. I'll Go with You Anywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final "official" chapter- the next one is going to be kind of like an epilogue :)

Hushed whispers rippled throughout the crowd of people.   
“He died?”  
“What happened?”  
“He never picked an Underboss, what do we do now?”  
“He can’t really be dead, can he?”

Mark clenched his jaw, their questions bouncing around his brain painfully.

“Quiet down.” Amy stood in front of them, her voice easily overtaking the murmurs. Her hands were folded behind her back, her expression carefully schooled as she did a sweep of the crowd.   
“I know you are all wondering what happened. I want to get right to the point and say yes, Blue Eagle is dead.”  
A few surprised gasps sounded from the group and Mark saw a few people turn to whisper to one another.

He stood in the back, not quite part of the group. He leaned against the back wall, still not trusting his legs to function properly. It had only been an hour since _it_ happened. The numbness had worn off and now he felt shaky and sick all over. His mind was clouded and hazy and he was doing everything he could to not start sobbing right then and there. He unclenched his fists when the pain started to register. Small crescent-shaped imprints from his nails stood out against his skin.

“You all answer to me now. If anyone has an issue with that, I’d highly suggest you do yourself a favor and kill yourself now. I will not tolerate disloyalty.” She stood with her head held high as if daring anyone to question her. No one would, of course. Everyone respected her enough already. She nodded, and the meeting was over. People quickly dispersed, off to continue with what they were doing before being interrupted. Mark envied them for it. They could just walk away and go about their day as if nothing happened. Jealousy curled up in his stomach along with the grief, adding to the horrible feeling. 

“Hey, can you come with me?” He recognized the voice as Amy’s.  
Mark sighed and gave a short nod, not bothering to look up from where his gaze was stuck to his feet. Her hand on his shoulder guided him through Headquarters. He wasn’t sure where they were going, and he couldn’t find the energy to care. It wasn’t unheard of for personal bodyguards to be executed after the boss dies. Maybe it was finally his time.

He figured it wasn’t, though, when Amy opened a door to a pretty nice looking room. There were two leather couches with a coffee table in between. At a small side table beside one of the couches, a lamp gave off just enough light to see where he was walking. Amy drew back the curtains and a window allowed for blue-white moonlight to softly filter in.  
“Sit.” She said, gesturing to the couch. It wasn’t an order so much as a suggestion, but he decided giving his unstable legs a rest couldn't hurt.  
“I’ll be back in a minute.” Amy went to the door to walk out, before turning back. She looked like she wanted to say something, but she only opened and shut her mouth, opting to give a half-hearted smile instead.  
Then the door was shut and he was alone for the first time since it happened.

He sat unmoving for a while, unsure of how he should react. He knew what he wanted to do- he wanted to scream until his lungs gave out. But he knew Amy would be back soon and other people would hear him if he did, so he just sat in the suffocating silence instead. The air was thick and he was having trouble breathing again. Was this how it was always going to feel? Like a huge weight was crushing his chest? He swallowed a lump in his throat as his eyes began to sting. He blinked a few times, trying to keep the tears from coming. It was useless. Huge tears slipped down his cheeks and he buried his face in his hands. What was he going to do without Ethan? He had never felt so completely content as he had with Ethan. How was he going to live the rest of his life without him?  
“I could’ve saved him.” Mark sobbed into his hands, speaking aloud to try and combat the silence that had a death-grip on him. If only Mark had been paying more attention. If only he stopped the person who shot Ethan as soon as he came through those front doors.  
 _ifonlyifonlyifonly_

The doorknob twisted, alerting him that Amy was back. He unconsciously started to wipe the tears from his face. Fuck- he couldn’t let anyone see him like that.   
He looked up as the door opened and-

_Holy fucking shit what the-_

He froze and blinked rapidly, rubbing his eyes when the scene in front of him didn’t change. Within a second he was up and wrapping him in a hug.  
“Ethan, what the fuck- how-what- oh my god you’re alive you’re aliveyou’realiveyou’re-” He cut his rambling off and pulled himself back just far enough to look at his face. Sure enough- it was Ethan. He had a huge grin on his face and was still a bloody mess.

That had Mark reeling back quickly.  
“Fuck sorry! Did I hurt you?” He quickly inspected Ethan who huffed out a laugh, looking fondly at Mark. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion to Ethan’s response.  
“I’m alright, Mark. I promise.” He said gently. That was all Mark needed to pull him in for a kiss by his waist. Ethan hummed happily and carded his fingers through Mark’s hair, a gesture that made Mark practically melt. The weight on his chest was lifted and the tears running down his face were no longer ones of sorrow. Mark pulled back after a moment and couldn’t help the smile that formed on his face.  
“You’re alive.” He breathed out their foreheads touching, still keeping Ethan as close as he possibly could.  
“I’m alive,” Ethan repeated back to him, a giddy smile mirroring Mark’s. He brought his hand up to Mark’s face, wiping away the new tears with his thumb.  
“Please don’t tell me I just passed out and this is some fucked up dream.”  
“It’s not a dream.” Ethan replied, smile dwindling a little, making Mark frown, “I’m really sorry, Mark.”  
He leaned back a little to see all of Ethan’s face, now thoroughly confused.  
“What do you mean?” He questioned.  
“I- we came up with a plan… A different one and I couldn’t tell you because it was so last minute and that was the only time we could do it-” Mark shook his head and Ethan stopped.  
“Ethan, what are you talking about?” He asked, releasing Ethan from the tight grip he had on him, pressing for answers.  
“The guy who shot me- was one of ours. It was planned. I didn’t want to put you through that but-”  
“It was planned…” Mark said slowly, “Why that fuck did you plan to have yourself shot?”  
“So we can get out of here. It had to be done where there were enough witnesses, and when I heard that one of our undercovers was going to be part of Cormac’s back up I knew I could use that to my advantage. We didn’t know that he would bribe the restaurant, but the undercover luckily thought quick on his feet and shot me before Cormac could actually kill me.”  
Mark pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes- stars forming behind his eyes.  
“But- the blood…” He opened his eyes again and glanced down at Ethan’s blood-stained clothing.  
“It’s fake, he shot a pack of fake blood that's attached to a bulletproof vest.” He replied sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, “I’m really sorry, Mark. I should’ve told you. I really fucked this up. You didn’t deserve what you went through.”  
Mark let out a long breath before speaking again.  
“I’m not gonna lie, it was kinda fucked up that you didn’t tell me. I thought I had lost you, Ethan. I don’t think you know what that did to me.” Mark started and Ethan nodded sadly. He looked genuinely devastated at what he put Mark through, “but I get why you did it. It was the only way to ensure that people thought you were dead.”  
Mark tugged Ethan back to him, holding him in his arms. He still couldn’t stand not touching him. Feeling Ethan living and breathing against him did wonders to his aching heart.  
“You did it for us, so for that I am grateful.” He murmured, closing his eyes and pressing his face into the curve of where Ethan’s shoulder met his neck. Ethan ran a soothing hand up and down his back.  
“Does that mean you’ll go with me?” Ethan replied softly. Mark smiled, hearing tentative hope leak through into his voice. “I know when we talked about it last time you said you’d think about it, and it’s completely fine if you don’t want to.”  
He honestly hadn’t thought about it since, but he found that his answer was clear.  
“I’ll go with you anywhere, Ethan.” He replied, making Ethan giggle as his breath tickled his neck. He felt a gentle kiss against his temple and he exhaled contentedly through his nose, pulling away only to press their lips together. Ethan tilted his head, deepening the kiss and Mark gladly followed his lead. Ethan’s hands fumbled around a little, as if he was unsure of where to put them, before ending up on his shoulders. Mark cupped the side of his face with one hand while the other circled around his waist, pulling them up against each other. He hadn’t realized they moved until he felt his arm push against the wall, in between it and Ethan.

Ethan pulled away first for air and Mark leaned down to kiss along where his neck met his jawline.  
“Hold on,” Ethan laughed and weakly pushed at Mark’s shoulders, “Amy’s coming back in a second.”  
Mark grumbled and pulled away before Ethan gave him a final apologetic kiss. He went back to sit on the couch that- just a few minutes ago- he had been having a breakdown on. Ethan sat next to him, folding his legs so his feet were on the couch too. He intertwined their fingers together without a second thought.

Just then there was a knock on the door, and Amy peeked her head through the door.  
“You alright now, Mark?” She questioned, fully stepping into the room with a smile. He didn’t bother to respond, letting the smile on his and Ethan’s faces speak for themselves. She rolled her eyes fondly at them, setting down two duffle bags on the glass coffee table.  
“You each have a bag with a change of clothes and new IDs and passports. I’d suggest you both change before leaving.” She gave Ethan a once over who glared back playfully in response.  
“There’s a taxi waiting for you two about 2 blocks away. Ethan, you remember where you’re going right?” Ethan hummed in confirmation, giving a short nod as well. 

She left the room briefly to let them change. Mark was given dark grey sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and a blue zip-up hoodie. He was also happy to find a pair of tennis shoes and he quickly shucked off the dress shoes. Mark grinned when he saw Ethan. He had on a red hoodie, black ripped jeans, and a black beanie. It wasn’t close to anything he would normally wear, but Mark loved it.  
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Ethan asked, tugging on the hoodie strings in an attempt to make them even.  
“It’s just a little funny to see you wear something so- ‘normal’.” The only other time he looked like that was when he was home, so it was a little strange to see him like that out in a public space, “You look good Eth.”   
Ethan chuckled and adjusted the beanie as well.   
“Thanks, babe.”  
Mark blinked a few times, his heart swelling. He didn’t have enough time to process the nickname before Amy was opening the door again. Obviously, Ethan didn’t know that what he said made Mark feel like putty on the floor.  
“Okay you two, let’s get you out of here.” She gestured for them to follow her and they all left the room, heading through the winding halls again.

They were just about to leave through the back door when Ethan spun and wrapped Amy in a hug. She froze with wide eyes, clearly surprised.  
“Thank you for helping me do this, Amy.” He said and she relaxed, loosely hugging him back.  
“No problem.” She smiled and he let go of her, opening the door and walking out. They waved to her before the door closed. Ethan sighed with a bright beaming smile on his face as they made their way down the sidewalk hand-in-hand. The night air was frigid and Mark instinctually moved closer to Ethan to press their shoulders together. Their breath swirled up into the air in foggy clouds, quickly disappearing. Mark still hadn’t been informed as to where they were headed, but at the moment he didn’t care. He was there with Ethan and that was all that mattered.


	18. A Random Tuesday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue! If you like fluff- this final chapter is for you

—2 years later—

The sound of music gently drifted throughout the house, mingling with pots and pans clattering in the kitchen and the soft sound of something sizzling on a pan. Faint growling from the living room suggested the dogs were playing, either by tackling each other or having a friendly game of tug of war with one of their way-to-many toys. To say they were spoiled would be an understatement. 

Mark smiled to himself, feeling all too sappy for a random Tuesday morning in the middle of fall. Ethan would relentlessly tease him about it whenever he was in one of these weird nostalgic moods, but he couldn’t help it.

Speaking of Ethan, Mark could hear him singing along quietly to the song that was playing. The dogs were no longer making a ruckus, which meant Ethan had probably broken up their playing for a moment of peace. The click of nails against the hardwood floors behind him had him turning to look. Chica, a big loveable golden retriever and the newest addition to the family, had plopped herself right behind him in the kitchen, wagging her tail with a soft _thump thump thump_ on the ground.  
“Hey there, girl.” He cooed at her, reaching down to give her some pets.  
Ethan had insisted they get another dog as soon as they had settled into their house rambling on about how Spencer needed a friend. Though with the way Ethan had let Mark pick when they went to the dog rescue center, refusing to give any personal input, he assumed it was because Mark had mentioned a long time ago he wanted a dog. 

He straightened back up and turned off the stove, happy with the eggs and sausage he had made for breakfast. He pulled two plates out of one of the cupboards and Ethan walked in, taking one of the plates from him.  
“Ooh, eggs.” Ethan joked, shoveling some onto his plate. Mark huffed out a laugh. They practically had eggs every morning unless Ethan decided to randomly try and make muffins or pancakes. At first, anytime Ethan tried to cook or bake anything it always ended up burnt or not looking/ tasting right. He was getting better, after many failed attempts and some help from Mark. He wasn’t used to cooking, saying he never had time before and just ordered food instead.  
“We got any bread for toast?” Ethan questioned, looking through the pantry with his plate balanced in one hand.  
“Nope, ran out yesterday.” Mark replied, walking up behind him and pointing into the pantry, “We have bagels though.”  
“Sweet.” He smiled and grabbed two, automatically assuming (correctly) that Mark would want one as well.  
“Wanna eat on the back porch?” Mark asked, glancing out the window and seeing it was a nice day outside. Ethan nodded and Mark took his plate from him, walking out the sliding glass door onto the porch. He set the plates down on the small wooden table in between the two chairs, sitting down in one. 

He took a deep breath, enjoying the crisp mountain air. After leaving Headquarters he hadn’t known where they were going. As it turned out, Ethan decided that it would be extremely difficult for anyone to find them in the mountains of Wyoming, smack dab in the middle of a huge forest. It was a two-hour drive to the nearest town, where they had to stockpile groceries. Mark didn’t mind too much, however. It had eventually helped him get over his fear of driving plus since they both went together, the two hours flew by. 

Mark heard the glass door slide open again, followed briefly by some grumbling about the cold weather. The bagels were placed on the plates before Ethan disappeared again. Glancing back, Mark saw that the brunette had made his way back inside, jogging up the stairs. He hoped Ethan was going to grab him a hoodie too as he ran his hands up and down his goosebump covered arms. He didn’t have to wait long since Ethan had decided to full-on sprint back out onto the porch and sling a sweater over Mark’s head.  
“Hey!” Mark exclaimed, fumbling around with the sweater to get it out of his face. When he could see again he was met with Ethan’s mischievous smirk.  
“Having some trouble there?” He asked innocently, adjusting his own hoodie (well- technically Mark’s) that he had thrown on.  
“Like you didn’t do that on purpose you jerk,” Mark replied with a mock glare, finally putting it on and crossing his arms. Ethan simply smiled and put his plate in his lap.  
“Thanks for making breakfast.” He said happily before he forked some eggs into his mouth. Mark simply hummed in response since he already had a mouthful of food. They listened to the music that was flowing through the door that had been left open, enjoying the peaceful morning in relative silence. It was this kind of domesticity that had Mark’s heart melt and made him feel like he had been swaddled in a blanket of comfort.  
As a previously upbeat song ended, a new slow one began. Ethan frowned and reached for his phone, which was connected to the speakers by Bluetooth inside, to skip it. He never was one for slow songs because he said they sounded too sad for him, but Mark had an idea  
“Hold on.” He said, taking Ethan by the hand. He pulled him up out of his seat towards him, eliciting a surprised squeak from the brunette.  
“What are you doing?” Ethan laughed, putting his hands on Mark’s shoulders.  
“ _We_ are dancing.” Mark replied simply, starting to sway them side to side, his hands on Ethan’s waist, “the only problem with my brilliant idea, though, is that I don’t know how to.”  
“I don’t either, so we’re perfect dance partners.” Ethan shrugged before narrowing his eyes with a smile at Mark, “you’re in one of your sappy moods today, aren’t you?”  
“So what if I am.” Mark retorted, “you love it. I mean- someone has to be the hopeless romantic in this relationship.”  
Ethan took one of his hands from Mark’s shoulders and placed it on his jaw lovingly, kissing him delicately, as if he was fragile. Though Mark would never admit it, he loved being treated that way sometimes.  
“You’re right,” Ethan said afterward, exhaling through his nose slowly. He stared up at Mark for a little longer than he usually did, something swirling in his eyes that the raven-haired man couldn’t pinpoint. He finally spoke.  
“There’s no way you’re a real person. You have to be some kind of figment of my imagination.”  
Mark smiled, raising an eyebrow. “And why is that?”  
“You’re too good to be true.”  
“Who’s being sappy now?” Mark replied, not really knowing what else to say since he was still bad at accepting compliments.  
“Shut up, I mean it.” Ethan huffed, the corner of his mouth quirking up despite his protest before getting serious again, “I really really love you, Mark and I don’t think there will ever be enough words I can say to truly express how much I do.”  
Mark’s heart fluttered and beat harder in his chest, the soft, loving expression on Ethan’s face had been enough to take his breath away.  
“I love you too, Ethan. Fuck- I’ve never felt this way about anyone else, and I never will.”

He covered Ethan’s hand that was still resting on his jaw with his own. His smile widened as he felt the cold metal of the ring on his finger. They had agreed to not get legally married because of their fake identities, but Mark had given him a ring after they had been in Wyoming for a year. Shortly after, Ethan gave Mark a similar one and he hadn’t taken it off since.

Overwhelmed with emotion he didn’t expect on a Tuesday morning at 9 am, he seized Ethan’s lips against his own. It wasn’t fleeting like Ethan’s had been, but the brunette welcomed it easily. It was slow and affectionate, matching the energy of how their morning had been going so far. He wasn’t sure who pulled away first, but soon they were both taking deep breaths. God- he suddenly hated that he had to breathe. He would’ve been perfectly happy kissing Ethan for the rest of the morning without being interrupted by the need for oxygen. In his mind, Ethan was at the top of his priority list. Unfortunately, however, his lungs begged to differ.

“Well, we didn’t really end up dancing all that much.” Ethan pointed out after a moment with a playful smile that he failed to stifle. Mark shrugged, not really caring all too much.  
“Maybe we can later.” He finally let go of Ethan and picked up both their plates, “how about we get the dogs and go for a short hike?”  
Ethan clasped his hands together and beamed, heading inside quickly to get the dog’s leashes on Mark assumed. Mark trailed after him, a lopsided grin on his face as he watched his partner round Chica and Spencer up and talking to them sweetly as he put their leashes on. After Mark put two water bottles and a few snacks in a backpack, just in case, he met Ethan on the front porch.  
“Ready to go?” Ethan asked, turning and handing him Chica’s leash. Mark swung the backpack on his shoulders and took Ethan’s hand in his own with a comforting familiarity, threading their fingers together.  
“Yep, all ready.”  
And off they went onto the trails they had walked countless times together. Mark loved watching Ethan’s face light up whenever he spotted a wild animal, whether it was just a squirrel or a huge moose they had seen once. He knew he looked like a lovesick idiot whenever he looked at Ethan, but he didn’t care since he had accepted a long time ago that he was one.  
Now, walking side-by-side with Ethan, he wondered how the hell he got so lucky that Ethan felt the same way about him.

Mark looked over at Ethan, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Ethan smiled and squeezed his hand back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are... The end :')  
> Thank you to everyone who read this, I didn't expect so many people to read it and leave such nice comments.  
> I'm excited to make another story in the future, though if I do I'll probably write it all out before posting- meaning it'll be a very long one-shot type story.  
> Thank you again, you guys are awesome

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this so far!  
> I don’t have an update schedule bc I’m busy pretty much all the time, but I will almost always have time to write on the weekends (so hopefully updates 1-2 times a week?)  
> -Also there are probably typos bc when I read over my work to check, my ADD brain doesn’t catch it-


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